The ‘theft’ of my 3 babies (pt. 2)

I place this Cyber warming: this “Testimony” is only for viewer to view, not disfrigerate (take apart/change), copy paste, edit, mend, take ideas from for books, to use as a reason to take retaliation out on me or my grievances, movies or other entertainment. This testimony and all my blogs are of my owner ship only. All other parties may not pass on or use against me; it’s my testimony with the protection of Jesus as the author and my redeemer; deliverer of HIS promises, “enjoy viewing my story of God’s Grace and “hand” on my “nightmare” life and Victor of “HIS earthly good life” HE is rewarding me with. That YOU will all know is happening, because “this” part of my “testimony” of a “no life” with God will be over. Then, sing “hallelujah” for me please, praising Jesus, Our Lord for His faithfulness and putting an end to any neglected, oppressed life of Satan’s will for me and enabling me to Fly in the life that is “God’s will” for me.. Thank you. Amen

True story: they stole my babies 2000 to present; Satan’s followers did
God gets his Glory!!! hallelujah!! he lives!! The thief (Satan) came only in order to steal, kill and destroy US
Romans 8:36-39Easy-to-Read Version (ERV)
36 As the Scriptures say,

“For you we are in danger of death all the time.
    People think we are worth no more than sheep to be killed.”

37 But in all these troubles we have complete victory through God, who has shown his love for us. 38-39 Yes, I am sure that nothing can separate us from God’s love—not death, life, angels, or ruling spirits. I am sure that nothing now, nothing in the future, no powers, nothing above us or nothing below us—nothing in the whole created world—will ever be able to separate us from the love God has shown us in Christ Jesus our Lord.

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in 2000; conspired by “our” OWN BLOOD and he still has them..stolen again when I came to reunite 2014 by the “illegal” KING COUNTY LOOP that got sucked into the LIES….no legal system; just organized crime.Image result for images of lambs slaughters 
…Romans 12:18
If it is possible on your part, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not avenge yourselves, beloved, but leave room for God’s wrath. For it is written: “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” 20 On the contrary, “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him a drink. For in so doing, you will heap burning coals on his head.”…
The “thief” Satan stole my 3 babies; and, put me, their mommy in a grocery cart (AS retaliation on me for standing up against them!) 2000~ongoing with illegal King County LOop one Jina Woodruff is apart of and knows of…along with many in the illegal king county loop; after I spent 15 years preparing to sincerely return and unite when God instructed me and this time Satan used them against me to slaughter me and stole them to this day 11~30~16 ..with many who claim Christ..yet meddle, steal, sell out for money, wise in their own eyes…”step away Satan! In Jesus’ blood and name. and, my faith commands you to obey.. 2014~present Image result for images of lambs slaughters
John 10:10 (HNV) The thief (Satan) only comes to steal, kill, and destroy. I came that they may have life, and may have it abundantly. Image result for images of lambs slaughters Image result for images of lambs slaughters
God’s “promises TO me/us: Image result for images of gods promises 

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 Jeremiah 29:11 New International Version (NIV) 11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
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Proverbs 3:3-6 New International Version (NIV)

Let love and faithfulness never leave you;
    bind them around your neck,
    write them on the tablet of your heart.
Then you will win favor and a good name
    in the sight of God and man.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight.

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My memories and roots Image result for images of gods promises
I was with Jonathan Barber, unknown to me “hired” by the DAgo Mob HA, etc. of the like Donald Ivester, Donald Walters, and Sandra Walters who knew what Jonathan meant in “code” when he tole her 1993 at a play park in El Cajon, Ca. now closed down “he is my “friend ’til the end”. 
A song the Holy Spirit gave me 2009; lalalalal “little bo peep, some say she abandoned her sheep, but little did they care to know her heart cry’s for them. I never left my lambs, I simply went to build a better path for them, for my Grand Kin. So, Fuck all you mother fuckers out there! CAN YOU HEAR ME, CAN YOU HEAR ME LOUD AND CLEAR? I never left my lambs, I simply went to build a better path for them, for my Grand~kin, and truth is YOU mother fuckers stole them. You stole my lambs, slaughtered them, told them lies about their only mamma kin…I never left my lambs. I simply went to build a better path for them, for my Grand~kin. So, fuck all you mother fuckers out there! Can you hear me? Can you hear me loud and clear? and, you all know who you are, so do I, and God saw it all!! Enemies, under my feet you fall! Bam!! Bam!!” lalallalla my lyrics God gave me.Image result for images of gods promises Image result for images of lambs slaughtersImage result for images of gods promises
one day in the year of ’97 or “98. Our “meddling” neighbors “the Bagleys” gained my trust and I began to study God’s word with them and confide in what was going on in the home, with Jonathan. 1997~ish, An incident in Granet Falls with Jonathan beating me, to the point of my blood on his fists, my shirt, my face, the steering wheel, car door, hood….somebody called the police. I, stood up for Jonathan stating nothing happened, due to my blood on him they took him in. The Everett WA Court judge instantly gave him a restraining order to Not go back to me and the kids and/or have contact. Image result for images of gods promises Image result for images of gods promises Image result for images of lambs slaughters 
To save my marriage (the sick person of what I thought love was/battered woman/ victim mind at the time ) I, secretly put up Jonathan’s bail, picked him up, took him home, came up instantly with 13 things for him to do, that would please the judge and the judge would issue to him any way. Jonathan’s promise and tears were to be kind to us, respect us (me and the kids), participate in a healthy marriage and family………. That’s when things got worse…, but, I didn’t know it…..Well, only him, God, and I could see it and knew. Image result for images of gods promises
Today, it’s been found that even the “Bagley” family were in on stealing me 3 babies. (twins boys age 4 and another son age 10 whom we know know at age 2 or so, my own biological father Donald Walters used him in Child porn when he was suppose to be spending “grandpa time” with him.) Image result for images of gods promises Image result for images of gods promises
Becoming involved with a Church and active members, was one of the 13 things, I got him and us plugged into, active with and it for filled the spiritual aspect of life. We walked into a service with the Bagley’s were members and missionaries whom went to Africa, and introduced ourselves immediately to the pastor. We set an appointment up with him for private meeting. We told him the above and that basically. we were hiding from the judge in being together, until court so. upon seeing the judge, I  may state to the judge in Marysville,( I think???) “I feel safe with Jonathan.” I (we), asked the Pastor for help with marriage counseling, enabling us to have the tools to strengthen our marriage and be able to not have a fight before seeing the judge. Image result for images of gods promises
We instantly became known as, “That’s “blah” and “her husband” Jonathan. That’s her son and they have twins.” I was the participant. We became greeters, helpers with the Awana Club, took membership classes, other ministry classes, participated in the couple/group at home bible studies, meal, social, games, what not and ever weekly or what ever that was and I entertained at our home as well. I, was up for getting me to any and every woman’s retreat, The MOPS, the woman’s lunch/speaker/crafts, I helped serve for the men breakfast… Wow!! Image result for images of gods promises
(meaning, I am whom took the initative and lead us in these things with my knowledge of God’s will.) I am why we went to the marriage retreat 3 freaking times! I, am why we got baptized, I am why MY son and Jonathan went on every father and son retreat….I am why the “Bagleys”and “Smalleys” (also, in on stealing of my babies and putting me in a grocery cart like trash), became friends with Jonathan. Image result for images of gods promises
I say, “I am”, because I am who had the ideas, suggestions, desire to participate in better, the cheerleader, the one who had to wear the pants in the family, the boots; cuz, thought not perfect, I aimed to do and be better and lead as it states the man of the house is suppose to in adding, being the example, protecting, providing, etc for his family and then the woman homemaker role was mine!!!! and, I did it well. Then, I was robed..and, look at me now.. K, I am straying away….lol, lol    I honestly believe that the condition of a family is a statement of how the man of the home is leading. It’s un yoked, not in balance or alignment with God’s will for a family to be lead, when it’s the woman…and, I am not talking about, awe never mind, lol  ” focus”) I, inspiered and lead by the spirit of God, creator of all is why WE soon became members and active members; esp. for the greater good of our children’s well being and future…in being their best and well, we state it in the baptism and dedication of the twins…I meant it…that.s why i am here to share and tell, lol Image result for images of gods promises
I am who drained the Pastor’s ear, the Bagley’s and others about my marriage “just not making since” and though, I may have my issues, NO, it wasn’t me… was more than that. I am why 10% of our taxes and every pay check went in the basket. I am why Jonathan did any father and son things with our 3 son’s, including the car thing in the Awana Club….but, just like anything else that was one of the kids projects, Jonathan took over, making it his and perfect, and well……… Image result for images of gods promises
I did all these things and ” I am” the one, because God inspired and lead me….He told me the direction, who, and where to go. Image result for images of gods promises
I am who signed Jonathan up to do all them things and what ever else he did…He was an Usher….That’s about when things were beginning to just make me puke….he was up to something……all of a sudden we were known as ” JONATHAN! Hey, son, and hi to the twins and, I was looked at as “just ” 0 “, and as if something was all of a sudden wrong with me…WEIRD!! It was Jonathan working on other members when alone with them, etc…any way manipulating them for lack of better words..and, “focus”  Image result for images of gods promises ok,
I knew that, tried telling you and others, but we kept me working and looking at myself! I am why he helped that old German lady member, with her yard and what not, who told me to “tap” the twins on the butt , leg with a spoon when potty training them and told me that it was unacceptable for them to go in their diaper and they were just barely 2 yrs maybe, oh and the idea to discipline the a spoon originally came to me thru mops there….I thought, i was to just go “tapp tapp tapp” on the wall with it and make loud noises for the kids to straighten up and you never use it.. Image result for images of gods promises
any way, sorry for going off track, ya All…OK,   Image result for images of gods promises
Jonathan was pissed at me, for me signing him up to do yard work and other labor for her ( she never knew and he talked bad and gossip about me with her when alone with her! She turned on me!), but know what he was to do? (was his attitude behind doors) and “how dare I, he had to work 6 days as it was, do all that, and spend his day and/or days off working for free helping others now???!!! Why hasn’t anyone else helped her yet?”, he would ask and say to me. Image result for images of gods promises
Pastors, Thank you, for letting me share the beginning rough, brief story of my roots and memories of and a bit more. I would like to pick it up from here, when inspired to do so again and finish it up with a part 2 another day. I don’t know, something to do….Put a little of me and where I consider any of my “roots” to begin, It is a healthy thing to do….????; lol, for me and my well being… lol  it , helps and please, correct me and/or reply with any thoughts…..and, especially, questions….We can’t afford misunderstandings, if we can help it…Internet, email, text…..causes a lot of communication issues and more….sad and yet, we all use and rely upon it… and , let it cause trouble.. Image result for images of gods promises
o Gracious God, Father of all thank you for your ‘TRUTH’ and for bringing your ‘LIGHT’ to all of this, and for blessing US abundantly and overflowing for Satan’s doings. Thank you for your vengeance upon “all” involved to this very day, for having favor on US innocent, and rising us in YOUR GLORY… Amen I expect from YOU, LORD for your ‘WORD’ says, I can…Bring them all to their knees for what they did to them children and me….as they confess your name as lord, Jesus Christ. For those whom want to be “Cains” may your will be done as it was to Cain….thank you for making me and “Able”. Hallelujah, is your name too… Image result for images of gods promises
Good news from God and HIS promise to me; today, I am to expect any second; for 51 years of this has been long enough and it was I who had to prove my way, that I was the innocent victim survived to tell. Jesus is the author of my testimony and redeemer of what is to be NEW, with a life of “privacy’ as a VIP/MVP…hallelujah, to YOU, o,LORD!! thank you for teaching me to be… Image result for images of gods promises
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 Job 42:10 New International Version (NIV)
10 After Job had prayed for his friends, the Lord restored his fortunes and gave him twice as much as he had before.
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 Job 42:12-17 New International Version (NIV)
12 The Lord blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the former part. He had fourteen thousand sheep, six thousand camels, a thousand yoke of oxen and a thousand donkeys. 13 And he also had seven sons and three daughters. 14 The first daughter he named Jemimah, the second Keziah and the third Keren-Happuch. 15 Nowhere in all the land were there found women as beautiful as Job’s daughters, and their father granted them an inheritance along with their brothers.
16 After this, Job lived a hundred and forty years; he saw his children and their children to the fourth generation. 17 And so Job died, an old man and full of years.
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I began disconnection from that Church: 
Greetings Pastors,
During the time of my memories, what I remember about Church one pastor worked most with Jonathan and our issues. The other pastor didn’t much about us and we didn’t do a lot together. I believe once or so, pastor was on the phone with me for hours, as the other was much, in me seeking answers as to why my marriage was as it was and wanting help. And,. For everything he would suggest I would say, I already do that…or, no!!! I am trying to tell you, Pastor, “it’s not me or any mental health or other issue,” and before hanging up after hours we would just have me focused back on just myself….it didn’t help the situation and took this last 16 years for the truth to come out that I was correct…I may be crazy and have some mental issues, but I am not that crazy and my mental issues aren’t delusional one’s. 
I made soup for the Pastor when he had acid reflex surgery….
Church gave me a family atmosphere. They paid for each retreat I went on, Jonathan and I went on, and that Jonathan and MY SON went on. They offered a lot of activities to be a part of and classes.  I had us on the prayer request daily. 
During the twins dedication (Sandra Walters was there, whom I sent for on my oldest son’s death benefits from JOE, that Donald Ivester and HIS government connections of organized stole and stopped as they lead him to believe I spent) , at the end the members of the Congregation, ALL SAY, “THEY WILL BE A PART OF RAISING THEM UP,” AND I KNEW THEN, THAT SOMETHING WAS GOING ON…SO, I FELT COMFORT IN THAT , THAT WHEN WHAT JONATHAN AND MY BLOOD FAM, AND OTHERS WERE GOING TO DO….MY KIDS WOULD BE SAFE AND BE RAISED BY MEMBERS OF THE CHAPEL!!!!!! I WAS SOOOOOOOO WRONG!  It’s OK, I am calm……
The best they did for us is: many, many members supported my son in his martial arts and talent in it….they always bought the fundraiser items for me and baked goodies for me to take to set up a donation booth in front of Rite Aid in Stanwood for a fundraiser to pay for the costs of my son’s 1999 Florida Karate Nationals Tournament with Lance Brakefields martial arts class and team. Lance Brakefield didn’t take my baby thru DisneyWorld in Florida….Lance Brakefield who also attended a church member and man of status in society with also yard Service Company did unmentionables to my 8 yr. old and screwed his brain up! Lead him to believe I would have been disappointed in my SON if he had not gotten 2nd place!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THOSE WERE NOT MY WORDS, FOR I TAUGHT HIM IT’S GOD WHOM WE MAKE PROUD, I am only here to help teach him, love him, support him, etc…it’s his life God has planned for him….that I am soo happy God picked me to be his mom. Image result for image god protects children
MY precious, loving SON never said anything, (I didn’t know Satan had him already confused and thinking I was the bad guy), but that comment and then he immediately quit Karate…….I knew right then Lance did something to my baby and the girls who were with him….didn’t befriend him and were not there for him and they probably didn’t know. It was the Eastbury kids in Stanwood….1999 OR SO????, Eastburry took over Lance’s martial arts class and he started up a landscaping business…Long story short as proof of all this has been ……..the outcome was my own biological parents, family, and others were in on what had happen to my MY SON, including Jonathan!!!!!!!!!!!
We as a family were still going to THE Chapel……except, there were many who did befriend me…….but, after Jonathan got a hold of them, they all turned on me and meddled with our marriage….
That’s where it should get interesting……
Have a safe week and thank you soooooooo much,
 I am grateful to be able to do this with you guys. It’s like a step in recovery and a testimony, etc…..thank you…
OK, let me back up for a minute. Drugs were not a part of our marriage and except for 2 times in Oklahoma I had not done meth or nowhere to get any, or seen any, etc….which is its own story…January of 1997, Thackerville, ok where Donald Walters lived who has been main person on all this theft and more in retaliation to me for standing up against him victimizing me, whom I had to put a restraining order on in Love County, OK 1996…Jonathan had left me home, took my babies overnight drugging with others down the road!!!! The MOTHER FLOWER!!!!
The Granit Falls incident that god used to lead me to church: a Friday or so Jonathan had oddly presented me with a little diamond ring like a Tierra….which was stolen from me by Donald Ivester, oldest son’s uncle when I was passed out from fever and being sick for 2 days…..they robbed me and Toni Ivester a girl supposedly married to Donald Ivester was wearing it last I saw it in 2003…..theft of my items and help in stealing my 3 son’s Kevin Hill, Sherri Hill, Olivia and Ron Hill national city, CA, Sandra Francis Walters lead them kids to believe she was AWESOME and that it was me a nutt, etc…today, truth sets us free, but KARMA GET HER AND THEM AND MANY OTHERS…HALLELUJAH FOR A PROTECTION FATHER, AS God!! AND, his son Jesus, and HIS power of the HOLY SPIRIT!!
Just after giving it to me…Jonathan’s back was out as usual…he never let me help his back, but let Alaskan woman a drunk and dead now, the drunk next door at Stanwood apartments…..who is dead now and my youngest twin I gave birth to that they also stole at age 4 and did unmentionables to as well, was friends with her son Adam or the other brother, not sure of name??? I don’t know, growing up I guess and they popped pills etc….
Anyway, right after giving me the ring Jonathan let that drunk come over, he laid on the kitchen floor and let her help his back as she felt him up right in front of me and he said nothing to her!!!!
We fought!!!!!! He left…I didn’t see him until Monday or so…..He had been in Granit Falls!!! He is who did meth and drank and I did not know!!!! 
The evening of the incident in Granit Falls that happened in him beating me….was because, as always I used marijuana as I do know for the same health issues I do now….Jonathan Joel Barber is who knew where to get it, not me! He said, we can go to Granit Falls. The place he was when he left them days…
We were just supposed to run there, get me my herb…..nothing unusual…MY oldest son, (but, they got me to let Jonathan Barber, whom Dago Mob HA hired to do a weird HIT on me and MY OLDEST, legally adopt him, as the HIT on JOE was done that I didn’t know was happening) not Jonathan’s blood, but Joseph Reno Oliver Ivester’s son shot in head 1994 by Donald Ivester, didn’t like running with us and they preferred to stay home, play video games while we ran and came back….no big deal.
OMG!!!! It took forever to get there, we get there and it’s just twappers and meth….it was a joke….now, they needed to go to Everett to score the pot! OMG! You are kidding me! I am getting pissed! Then, the daughter, to the guy we were visiting was talking to Jonathan, as if I didn’t exist and obvious they had sex and time to know each other!!!!! I was boiling! I was thinking how we had to get home, the kids! It was getting darker and later!!! OMG! NOW, I am ready to go home and forget it, I didn’t need my pot, if all that chaos was what was happening to get it. Just take me home was my attitude, you S.O.B.!  (To Jonathan)
We get outside. Now, mind you in a world where people are like that the language is this: I kneed Jonathan in the balls, in front of the people, yelling how dare he this and that….his pride was taken and he was humiliated….I just started walking to the car…at the car Jonathan proceeded to beat me and throw me around like a rag doll, painting the car and me with my own blood. The police took him to jail and I drove home…to greet the kids with a bloody face, and it all over my sweatshirt, with no Jonathan with me… now they were sleeping.
Upon picking Jonathan up from Jail and posting his bail, I used that language he understood again….I socked him in the eye and told him he better get it together, this is it!!!!! I am not his victim. Did he want to do it or just divorce???? He cried, said he deserved that, blah blah blah…and, wala we ended up at Church hiding from Everett Court to restore our marriage, so I was falsely lead to believe. All I still did was my marijuana for the same health issues I have now. EG’s: MS, fibermyalgia, tenanitis, authoritis, carpul tunnel both arms/wrists, and many others; including a few mental like ADHD, GAD, mild autism, learning disabilities, brain damage from medical field leaving me neglected with high fever and many blows to my head for a few eg.s.
pastors, this is hard for me…it’s heavy…I don’t think there is a whole lot more, but there is more…..I am going to stop here, so I don’t over whelm us…..
Now, we are caught up and next time I will pick up from the last marriage retreat we went on…..that’s when things with me for you guys will begin adding up….in the case of not attending church there any more, etc…..
PSALM 46:1 God is our refuge and strength [mighty and impenetrable], A very present and well-proved help in trouble.
please know that God is a faithful friend even in the hardest of times. May you have a safe and spiritual day, in Christ Jesus’ name. Amen  Image result for image god protects children Image result for image god protects children
God Works In All Things
Romans 8:27
And He who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. 28And we knowthat God works all things together for the good of those who loveHim, who are called according to His purpose. 29For those God foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brothers.…
Good afternoon Pastors, Image result for god's word on order of prayer bible gateway
Why this is hard for me at this point is: there are so many twists. I survived these psychopaths and worse!!!! I knew, this stuff was happening to me my entire life and that though, I have my own issues IT WAS NOT ME!!! The truth has finally come out…it’s changed mental and the traditional medical fields……a conspiracy from birth and they did it to my kids too!!! Regardless, to my own choices in the past…..the plans for me, were to always make me fall….the choices that were before me, were set up……..Image result for friendship meaning of
As I share, it’s going to be obvious how they, Jonathan, etc were steps and years ahead of me, doing stuff and, purposely trying to keep me on meth. Jonathan use to always say, “I’m ten steps ahead of you.” I never knew what the H*** he was talking about~! Now, I do!!! Image result for god's word on order of prayer bible gateway
I never heard of Granit Falls….Now, it makes since when Donald Ivester, my oldest child’s biological uncle would say HA family is here……They been set things up for years….I thought, I was moving in 1997 here to be with my aunt and uncle….  cousins Norman and Eddie Gaumond… nope!!!! All of them in on what happened to me and the 3 boys!!! From the get go!! At the end year 2002, Norman Gaumond bragged, “hahahaha, I helped get your kids taken from you!!” Image result for god's word on order of prayer bible gateway
Well, Jonathan and all them knew of and each other….even my father knew him, Jr and Maureen  gaumond (my biological birth mom Sandra walters~Gaumond’s and her brother Louis Gaumond, our uncle) already had stanwood expecting us. The plans were already made….they were all aware and I wasn’t. Image result for god's word on order of prayer bible gateway
This is why they lost: In 1993 I went to detox.. Image result for god's word on order of prayer bible gateway
1978, I was only a 12 year old who wanted to over dose….not really a drug or alcohol user… just to die!!!!God gave me this baby as a gift from HIM 1989 and I had a reason to love and live.  By then, I was addicted….1993 I saw my using effecting my lil gift and sincerely put myself in a detox and the AA program….. I do very well alone with God….  But, I fell for their trap of Jonathan at my first AA meeting and well, here we are today…2016 Image result for friendship meaning of
So, because my babies are my priority and my sincere step to helping self from that point on 1993 no matter what they did to me and my boys from that point……I was on my own page……. 
I stopped stealing, I stopped causing chaos, I stopped serving satin and began living to please God…now mind you.. It’s been a long journey and many would question that, but at this point I don’t care… like everything else, God knows… wasn’t easy with a husband like Jonathan….
Jonathan did serve satin, literally with rituals in his past before I met him, he did grow another knuckle in 1993 when he was beating me in front of oldest son, stating Satin is his master, and drinking down that wine in a gallon jug…..that was before marring him and I was so sick (battered victim woman mind) that I told him I didn’t care who he served, I wanted to be his queen and not his victim……  so sad, awwwwe   
 It’s OK cause God has and is making a ww miracle out of this. And, it’s turning out to be quite beautiful for me and the boys…I just hope the boys waste no time and hop on for life…..eagerly and happy to… and, I want what is mine and for me..I am ready, pastors.Image result for friendship meaning of
 lol, i know the twins had a little enjoyment out of his dad’s back getting broke and other things… the bastards who did this to me and my three kids all deserve the consequences god gives them… and me and my three son’s deserve the rewards and blessings God’s giving us…..
with this all being said, I am going to stop here…I ought to feel fine picking up from the last marriage retreat 1999, the same time Lance did what he did… it’ll add and connect dots up….. What I already knew, that none of you knew, will show it’s self….the pattern of the conspiracy….the twists,… it is mind blowing to me, pastors. the entire story, just not our normal every day testimony, story of survival… kind of hard to sum up and be a speaker about…just so much to testify about..    I will say, that I knew, but until this year and they truth being exploited, etc., I didn’t really know…. I had no proof and I did look like it was me with behaviors……
please pray they remove all cancer from me….please pray for the boys who are now men….please pray for my rewards that include a loving, kind, successful husband enabling me to really begin living and having a life…. 
May God keep you all safe. Thank you, Image result for friendship meaning of
lol, hi E book is written from my heart..thank you< Jesus for being the author of my testimony and redeemer of my Salvation and new life “here on Earth” of what is soon to come “the good life with my main Love, companion of YOU” Amen
Real quick, today I do not believe Jonathan was really having a hard time finding work.. if, Pastor will recall that was Jonathan’s big issue too…being a man and not able to find work, blah, blah, blah………He was able to get work, cause HA, family, etc.. Oldest son’s blood HA family…. all them… YES< Jonathan was playing us all… he probably didn’t even put in applications that 3 months he had no work….. Then, he gets work and was miserable because he had to work…..
there are a lot of things we didn’t know….he would go up to me aunt and uncles Jr. and Maureen Gaumond, when I thought none of us were on talking terms….in Oklahoma he and my father talked…I am just now figuring it out… see, at the end when Jr and Maureen Gaumond were speaking to me for a second… May 2002  Jr stated that Jonathan had been speaking to them to do a divorce up, without lawyers…with them……they were all conspiring to harm me and my boys from the beginning,,,,,made me think me and Jonathan were outcast….but, Jonathan and them all still conspired together…
I have no idea when Jonathan got to do that, drink, drug or commit adultery!!! It blows me away,,,I had him on a very short leash, his time card for work and hours, pay always added up….  freaks me out that he found time… freaks me, pastors…   how and when did he find time?????? Ewwww, how cunning, baffling, and a liar Satin is!
All my love, 

John 10:10 (CJB) The thief (Satan) comes only in order to steal, kill and destroy; I have come so that they may have life, life in its fullest measure.

OK, all about the same time in 1999 my son went to the Nationals for Karate and the Lance Brakefield unmentionables happened, Jonathan and I had gone on the last marriage retreat, and I had let a Kim 18 years old living in her car in the parking lot of Stanwood apartments with her toddler live with us.
Now, I can clearly see that the chaos was planned like that, Kim was not sincerely homeless; she knew too many people including my cousin Norman Gaumond. She had a twin and she attended church with us a few times. Jonathan was doing his norm in being the most charming, in which I today know means liar at the retreat with the others, but once in our room he was the jerk he is or was at this point, because it’s now being said to me, who is Jonathan??? I hope that means he no longer exists literally.
Kim was watching the twins while Jonathan and I were on the retreat. Jonathan and I left the retreat to run home so I may inhale my THC and go back. My son’s $500 race bike, bought in New Hampshire 1994 in partial trade from a snow board he won was stolen!
Today, the mystery of who, how, why has been solved and it was my cousin Norman Gaumond who set that up……..mind you, as far as I knew Norman, Eddie, Maureen, and Jr. Gaumond still weren’t speaking to us….or, rather me now we find out.
Image result for image of satan We never returned to the retreat. There was no way I was going to return with Satin (Jonathan). At this point, I was done doing chaotic calls and talks with Pastor or anyone else, since nothing was ever getting better and I was being blamed, told I needed to be on medications, and Jonathan (who proclaimed Satan as his true master in 2004 to me, as I witnessed him grow a 3rdknuckle) was appearing to be so charming; which is deceiving.  There was no way I was going to return to church with Satin! Now, I may not be remembering 100% clearly, I may have made that decision more toward the end of 1999.
Jonathan didn’t protect our family. I went on a rampage! I was going to find who stole my son’s bike! I drove day and night up and down every road in Stanwood, until I saw parts of my 8 yr. old son’s bike in a person’s yard! I knocked on their door, I behaved as I once did on the streets of San Diego…
I was going to turn tables over!!!! The guy and the place was a mass meth place in Stanwood near our apartments! The guy told me that the other parts of my child’s bike was already in Marysville and/or Everett.
I was on this guy like white on rice!!!!!! He was going to give my son the Diamond back race bike he had in return…….and, unless he wanted me to call the cops on him he was going to supply me with meth in trade for the pills that Jonathan, John Silvia, and Dr. Funk demanded I take that made me sleep all the time!!!!!  Also, he was my B**** now, for messing with me sons!! And, I was going to physically mess him up!!! DO NOT MESS WITH MY KIDS!!!! I AM NOT A HAPPY MAMA BEAR WHEN THAT HAPPENS!!!!!
Proverbs 17:12 New International Version (NIV)
12 Better to meet a bear robbed of her cubs
    than a fool bent on folly.
 It just so happened that Kim knew the guy. Let me back up….She invited the guy over during that time of me dealing with him giving his Diamond Back to my child’s….Kim and He brought the meth in…Jonathan had no problem doing it with me….then, the highlighted above
Today, I believe Jonathan knew about my son’s bike being stolen and I believe that I fell for the trap of getting me back on Meth; after all my mind and motive was to be at a “second marriage retreat” believing Jesus would mend my marriage!!!”
I often wonder in life today what Jonathan really did with MY child at the father and son retreats, because I know how Jonathan was with me at the retreats…..Maybe, my son will speak up and share about that in the help he is getting today.
Though, I believe getting back on meth was a part of the plans THAT WERE FOR ME BY JONATHAN, HE, AND MY BLOOD FAM…..  I TAKE FULL RESPONSIBILITY FOR THAT RELASP! I NEEDED IT TO STAY AWAKE FROM ALL THEM PILLS THEY HAD ME ON, THAT ENABLED JONATHAN TO SAY, “SHE SLEEPS ALL DAY AND SHE DOESN’T’ CARE FOR THE KIDS.”…LIAR! YES I DID CARE FOR THEM; I am really no different than how I am now, but let Satan mind game me or rather Jonathan and yes, me on “meth” isn’t pretty, as it’s evil the Devil himself, meth is and made by Satan too, “dago mob HA, Cartel, and others”, but I am ADHD and if not messed with by Satan, it did help me in ways. However, I am just fine “on God”, his Marijuana, and HIM as my “vice” and I love it!! lol…
(so, I never could figure out what the HELL Jonathan or Annie (the evil step mom, who had no business disabling my children anyway; she isn’t the parent and go ask any “parenting class,” because that’s where I learned step parents have no business disabling in a Parenting Class, I volunteering took on my own, leading Tom Trier in 2006ish to take with me in San Diego, during the time I was attempting to change the parenting plan via phone court from San Diego,  Ca  2006 and the Judge in Snohonish Everett, WA with Jonathan yelled at me and charged me $75.00 to pay Jonathan Barber, since I cost him a says work to go to court for a phone “sessh” (Tom Trier payed $500.00 for me to do) to modify parenting plan he and the crocked lawyer in 2002 from Chapel made up, when I wasn’t even here in
WA!! They lead me to believe “no duel custody” in WA..all kinds of “intimidation” by crocked family and their crooked government participants… would need to discipline them 3 for; they were a “pleasure,” “helpful,” and oddly smart with common sense, and knowledge of Christ’s existence at that. SINCE, THAT THE SPIRIT OF DEPRESSION IS NOT ALLOWED ME..I AM VICTORIOUS IN THE LORD AND STAND!! Hallelujah, Jesus!!
BY NOW end 1999, Chapel turned against me…my behaviors matched what Jonathan wanted you to see…..I refused to attend with Satan. I, God, and Jonathan knew what was going on and he had you all convinced his way. I let him take the kids with him to service. He did meth during that time he was fooling you guys!!
 The Bagley’s and the Smalley’s were the worst meddlers, couplets, judgers, and participated…..the Smalley’s and Bagley’s ought never be in the ministry as far as I am concerned after what they participated with…you guys listened to the Ellen Bagleys and what she would say…..”GOSSIP!!!” Not one of you ever called or visited to see how I was doing, if you may be of any help to me, nothing!!!! I had been wrongly judged by hypocritical, “Christians” who meddled with my marriage and helped steal my boys and destroy my marriage!! And, I know I saw bruises on their youngest daughter when I changed her diaper that were questionable abuse.
 No way was I going to explain myself to any of you any longer!!! Why? Plus, my oldest son pointed out that the same service, words, etc. We’re being said…that were said last year at service….like not even holy sport lead. HE is smarter than me and he was correct.
My hour is ending at library. I will end here….thank you. There is more.. I love and appreciate you, guys…There is more to come and other day as God leads me to share. 
Image result for verse god loves me
Forgive me if my dates are a bit off by a year and/or months. I am not a master mind of perfection, lol. I distinctively remember 1999 Easter. Jonathan and I had decided to do meth. Generally, I let him do most of is how I was…I just liked being the one who had it and gave most of it away…because, I am already naturally amped and all, with the head games and all he and other played with me during that time they could say I was on meth, but what was the excuse for all the times I was not….??? This is the mentality of this way of living and such, so to participate and dance with such people to me, is illness on one’s part, fear on how to get away,, we can see, I stopped dancing with people of such mentality went to great lengths to be who God really meant me to be and am here, only by HIS Grace to tell of my testimony. Hallelujah to HIM, O Most High! Amen Image result for verse god's eyes on me  bible gateway
 Easter 1999, I did a T.J., Mexico thing they do there in Mexico at the clubs. I tilted Jonathan’s head back and dumped the quarter of meth down him. It’s done with shooters of alcohol too. It’s a bar thing in Mexico and no big deal…anyway, he was an idiot about it. We were in the mists of playing and having fun. 
 I couldn’t take it anymore. What a jerk! Now, it was going to be more unpleasant then general. He became a monster, more than normal. I went upstairs to the kid’s room, with the kids and I began searching the phone book and making arrangements to leave with the kids via train, plane or bus. He saw me, tore the phone out from the wall, threw the phone books aside, picked me up by my right ankle and hung me upside down, as he stated to Joseph, “Do you want to watch me brake your momma in half?” Image result for verse god's eyes on me  bible gateway Image result for verse god's eyes on me  bible gateway
 Ok, now mind you I was only using meth now to balance with the meds they had me on that kept me asleep. I was actually proud of myself, because I was making a quarter last a week. That is generally a one hit and or one day supply in the drug world. At this point I wasn’t letting anyone know and strangely enough each time I was on that stuff people made comments of how well I was doing off drugs…..what idiots!!!! Yes, because I am ADHD and meth is a medicine for ADHD…I don’t talk or smoke on it. 
 However, when the doctor gave me the prescription form it didn’t work as well. I choose to not be on anything, but my THC thank you. Image result for verse god's eyes on me  bible gateway
 Then, once people found out I was doing it, then they blamed it for how I was…whatever! Anyway, I guess I was attempting to be a responsible user at that time and I was thinking, I was trying to save my marriage. What strange thinking, right? It’s OK, God had by back, because HE knows my broken heart and comprehension issues….and, today I AM BETTER!   YEAH!! PRAISE TO GOD!!  HE MADE A MIRACLE OUT OF A MESS AND i AM MY BEST ONLY TO BE BETTER!!!!!  
I don’t know about Jonathan…he was a sneak and a liar…had been obviously using and drinking without my knowledge the whole time. I know, he did use with me, when I thought it was a team thing.
 So, 1999 I secretly began going to Battered Woman groups in Mt.Vernon. It was the best and I haven’t had the pleasure of such help since. They actually had meetings for us as a group. That is where I learned, that if just one person will speak up about unmentionables in groups as such, and friendships, etc. then, others will realize they aren’t alone, they will be comfortable to open up, share, and begin to heal. Image result for verse god's eyes on me  bible gateway  Image result for verse god's eyes on me  bible gateway
 Today, I speak about anything due to that class, as I am being honest in this “thing” I am doing with sharing all this with you. My first visit was private and I actually was arguing with the lady that men get abused too…..that there should be Battered Men’s places. She insisted I please listen and let me know that somebody had been giving me false info., not that men don’t get abused, but that generally woman do it out of fear and men do it to control. Keeping it simple. Anyone who thinks a tiny woman as me could hurt him was in idiot! If, he got a black eye it was because he let me give it to him. He was a 6 foot, 178 lb man and he did the death hold on me six times, in which I woke up peeing and swinging. That was attempt to murder and he was from NAM…Jonathan had attempted to murder me several times. And, YES I do believe there is a head in a lake from a hit he did for the HA, once upon a time, because HE told me several times upon meeting him. 
 So, I would tell Jonathan things from, I was going shopping to get dope, whatever I wanted to tell him, but I was really going to the Battered Woman’s meetings. There I got an emergency plan set up. I had an emergency bag with my and the boys important papers and a day clothing, etc. I kept it at a neighbor’s apartment in the closet, two doors down. She had two teenage daughters, friends to the Eastbury girls, she worked at the pea packing place in Stanwood or whatever that is. She had a son and her teenage girls raised him as she worked and got pregnant with a girl.
 1999, I saved up enough monies for us to go to San Diego for Christmas. What an idiot!!!! I am sincere in my intentions and they were my enemies with plots against me my entire life!!! Who knew? Well, we all do now, lol, lol..good, cause when it’s just me and god who know it really doesn’t help. Image result for verse god's eyes on me  bible gateway
 I had thought Jonathan had actually made sincere progress, because he was so kind and understanding that I was going to take the opportunity to do closure with my 1st David Oakes at age 15. I had to do that so bad. The way things happened with David it interfered with me for years. Closure was important for me and my other relations. What an idiot!!! Jonathan wasn’t being the best-est husband ever, he and the others just brought David in on the plot against me. 
 Now, mind you when I met Jonathan he hadn’t had a job in years, was living in a sobriety house, and was court ordered to do some intense anger management classes, had to report to the police station on F st, Chula vista from his prior relation to a Cindy Clark who had his daughter Jasmine Clark who is my oldest son’s age. Jonathan had CPS in all his relations with Donna Barber and many other last names who had his daughter Brittany Barber, and with Cindy Clark. Image result for verse god's eyes on me  bible gateway
 Jonathan was considered to be dangerous in the system of San Diego, Ca before I ever met him. Jonathan still had classes court ordered in 1994 before we got married and left to New Hampshire. Jonathan wasn’t going to be able to leave the state until he completed them. So, he paid Nancy $100.00 a manager of the Apartments I lived in Lemon Grove area before leaving CA. Nancy went on the computer, used the leader heading and such of the facility he was supposed to be continuing to go for treatment, she signed the paper, he brought it to the San Marcos court house, near Vista, Ca and it passed…we could now leave San Diego. Little did I know, this was already plotted out by Donald Walters, Manolo Rubio with cockfighting, Donald Ivester with Dago Mob HA, Jr and Maureen Gaumond, Sandy Walters and many, many more prior to me ever, ever knowing…It’s only today 2016 that I learned “ALL” I survived and am Victorious over, ONLY by the Grace of God and HIS Glory. I never knew, knew. I just knew “nothing” about my life, visions, God’s will for me, etc. made since and “nothing” ever happening, but “ugly”…I knew it wasn’t me!!!” AND, together those whom matter and I ‘KNOW” and God is faithful to his word…I am going to be “uplifted” and into a “righteous” life with a Man HE prepared for me and I he…any moment….as of 2016 and I am here to share.
 Image result for verse god's eyes on me  bible gateway Philippians 4:19New International Version (NIV)
19 And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. Image result for verse god's eyes on me  bible gateway Image result for verse god's eyes on me  bible gateway
 I only had CPS in my life 1993 for a short period of time for calling them on myself, once I saw it was effecting my son and he broke the light bulbs in our home. Anything, in my comprehension at that time, best for my baby. I got myself into a detox in Mexico where we now find them purposely thru the cartel and chicken fighting with Donald Walters HEP C. That’s when they gave me cancer I think too….I don’t know??? I was on a volunteer CPS case, I found my own detox, I did what I had to do with putting CPS under my butt as a fire to do right and get off them darn drugs! Upon returning from detox 1993 CPS closed my case, wrote me up as a miracle mother, an example for the best, make a point of telling me to keep away from my biological mom Sandy Walters, that while I was in detox she tried getting custody of my son. She stated that Sandy will do whatever she needs to make sure I am back on drugs and take my son. She stated that there was no way Sandy would get my son, because both her daughters (Karen Walters/Hall who also participated in stealing my babies THEN HAS THE GILL TO GIVE ONE METH AND POT WHEN OLDER!!! ) turned out to be drug addicts so that tells them Sandy wouldn’t be the one to give custody to. She gave me funds to take my baby son to Montessori school, but the case was closed. I was given a few perks for the best interest of my son that lasted a few months. I was a nice experience. 
Psalm 37:6 New International Version (NIV)

He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn,
    your vindication like the noonday sun.

 Moving on the visit in SAn Diego was hell!!! Keeping long story short…Jonathan was drinking at Sandy’s. We all know he is violent and not supposed to. I got so mad! Then, she is so controlling that she had a fit that my husband and kids were going to go have closure with David Oakes. I let her take the kids to Disneyland, but upon her return we left and went on to visit with Joseph’s biological family. Donald Ivester, Rose Phelphs/Ivester/Rich, Mark Phelps, Clyde Eddleman, Kevin Hill, Steve Holly, Mike and many others. They gave me red dope and gave Jonathan real. Donald Ivester threw me up against the wall, I kicked Jonathan threw the screen for letting Donald do that. (MIND YOU VIEWERS, I PERSONALLY REALLY KNOW NONE OF THESE PEOPLE; NOT THEN AND NOT NOW. I ONLY KNEW Sandy as my blood, Donald Ivester as blood to my son’s dead father, the others just people, ect..but, these same people spent a life time plotting on me, setting up places prior to my arrival to eat me, make life hard on me, make me believe I was crazy; all them people above knew each other and I never knew!! Until, today 2016!!!!!)

 Matthew 10:29-31New International Version (NIV)
29 Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care.[a] 30 And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31 So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.
You, See???? It was just a chaotic set up mess…….outcome: David was recruited, as story will unfold, Sandy, Donald, all of them to steal my kids and put me in a grocery cart or whatever they were attempting to do….well, Donald is who killed Joe, my son’s biological father with a bullet in back of head face down.. They were brothers…Donald is a dangerous man like Charles Manson. They all are. Haass the grandfather and they were sexual offenders. Joe when alive was very protective of our son in the fact, that he wasn’t to be brought around Hass, (I never knew my own biological father Donald Walters, Jonathan Barber or any others were also SEX weirdos, offenders, into underground adult porn, S&M, or child porn or anything. ME AND MY CHILDREN (GIFTS FROM GOD) AND MANY OTHERS WERE VICTIMS AND GOD SAVED ME TO TELLLLLLLL WITH MY BIG MOUTH HE ALSO GAVCE ME!! PRAISE AND GLORY TO ABBA, JESUS OUR FALTHER!! AMEN, SELAH),,,Hass sexually assaulted Joe, Donald and the other siblings when they were kids. There was money and for some reason Donald and Haas were buddies. Then, David had me in his bedroom as we viewed the album I put together as an xmas gift from when we has been together and he was trying to make out with me and MY SON walked in….Mind you Poor baby Joseph had already been sexually assaulted several times and we never knew…How traumatizing that must have been for him. It traumatizes me to this day!!! I got David oAKES off me, we went back to motel…Jonathan left me and the kids over night at motel while he went to Donald’s and plotted with him, the others, and Sandy against me. (Little did I know they kept me busy with David on purpose, while Sandy, Jonathan, and Donald Ivester were plotting together….I knew something was up when Sandy Walters was willing to sit with such class of filthy biker, druggies people as Doanld Ivester..1999 Christmas) Image result for psalm 37:6 Image result for psalm 37:6 Image result for psalm 37:6 Image result for verse god's eyes on me  bible gateway
 Remember, Jonathan was still doing his drugs, drinking, lies, etc….but, appearing to look like the “good guy”. NOPE! He is a psychopath, a scary person, a demon if you will and good at it. He can sell ice to Eskimos….them people are liars and scary, of you ask me. I was losing it and was still wanting my marriage to work out…I was basically just back to my THC, but on occasion did do meth with Jonathan and alone. In all honesty, it was the medications from Dr. Funk that had me messed up…as for meth and pot it was hard for me to obtain. I’d obtain my pot by Brook, Rosemary Fishers daughter on Camano Island. On occasion Ann Marie in Stanwood scored me meth.
 OH< during this time all of a sudden Norman Gaumond and his girlfriend Willow from Camano Island are at our apartment. Blah, blah his dad Louis Gaumond, my uncle and Maureen disowned Norman and he and Willow stayed on our couch for two weeks, eating our food, smoking my THC medication up, they drank, they sponged off us, lazy pigs!!!! One night, we all had the brilliant idea to share a quarter of so of meth. Norman obtained it….and, after that Norman and Willow no longer needed to sponge off me and gee, my uncle and aunt took him in….weirdos plotting against me while I was sleeping or awake!!!
Anyway, 2000 Stanwood…come to find out their plot involved setting me up and calling CPS on me..At this point, I am not having anything to do with this particular Chapel and Jonathan is having a hay day recruiting member’s to destroy me. Upon him and the kids visiting the Smalleys during this time. The twins came home telling me they had a new mommy!!!! What the H***? …and, I will end here.
 Thank you…….there is more, but let’s stop here…this is disturbing my spirits and I have to do it little by little, there isn’t a lot more.
 Have a safe weekend, Ya All. Image result for verse god's eyes on me  bible gateway Image result for psalm 37:6 Image result for psalm 37:6
I don’t want to do this anymore, but I need to for the best interest of my emotional healing and for my three sons. (Most of all for the Lord, as HIS witness to HIS Grace, Mercy, Protection over me thru “all” this and more that is unsaid or in other testimony’s HE has had me write. Hallelujah, Jesus for showing up as promised or rather “always” being here with me. Amen)
2000 Jan. to March no joking. First time ever…I stayed up sitting in a chair at the kitchen table staring at the floor all night most nights after the kids and Jonathan went to bed. I was only taking the medications from Dr. Funk in Everett, WA during this time. I was functional during the day with the kids, but once Jonathan came home I HATED HIS PRESENCE, DIDN’T WANT TO BE IN SAME HOME AS HIM, DIDN’T WANT TO SHARE SAME BED WITH HIM, NOTHING!!!! UNTIL, 2007 I DIDN’T DEVELOP THE ABILITY TO JUST GO TO SLEEP. So, sleeping on the couch didn’t work for me, because I wanted answers NOW and my marriage to work out and/or freedom and a divorce. I find it strange that my brain was only able to stare at the floor from Jan. to March 2000. I was tense. I was unable to function with Jonathan’s presence. I was unable to go to the bathroom. I was unable to get a drink of water. I was unable to light my pot pipe and inhale (that “helps” my same mental and physical disabilities that it helps with today; had them then too and they, my enemies knew.). I was stuck!!!!! I knew he was up to something and Jonathan got a thrill of stating, “I was clueless. He was ten steps ahead of me, was going to be damned if he was going to pay child support, that he was going to get rid of the problem and I was the problem.” 
March 2000, I began mixing meth with my meds again for good reasons I thought. Jonathan was continuing to attend Sunday service and visit the Smalleys with the kids as he left me home broke etc…..all of a sudden he is complaining about credit cards I was getting as his wife and paid!!!!! All of a sudden I am being told I can’t control the monies anymore and that I don’t use it correctly!!! What was he speaking about? I went out of my way from the beginning with him to write down and pay all bills and his debts years prior to ever meeting him. I kept it to the penny and would work for hours if a was missing a penny…..there wasn’t any funds for a life, beyond the basic bills and I would save up monies for him and MY son, not Jonathan’s birth son to have father and son time to develop their own relations, while the twins; Jonathan’s birth son’s and I stayed home………he stated I didn’t grocery shop right……what the HE**? I even wrote out a minute to minute daily what I did and stuff for him, because he would come home and tell me I didn’t do anything. (I was a home maker and whom all HE claims to have did in the divorce papers his bogus lawyer from the Chapel gave him including, studding God’s word As I DO TODAY; NOTHING DIFFERENT HERE on how to be a wife and seeking what I was not doing; it wasn’t what I wasn’t doing: I WAS IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP, SET UP IN PURPOSE BY DAGO MoB HA, DONALD WALTERS, AND OTHERS AS A FORM OF CONTROL AND RETALIATION ON ME!!!)…Jonathan used military mind game tactics with me. Excuse me, but I call it “mind fu*****” mental abuse one can’t prove. I stopped attending Battered Woman group.
(What you all finally give God the chance to show you in who I am in him and as a child of God, is the same lady~the same Hawaii saw in action, the same that is seen today, AND WHO THEY, MY ENEMIES FAIL TO SHARE THAT IS WHO THEY VICTIMIZED AND HATED MY REACTION TO THEIR NEGLECT, ABUSE, MY BIG MOUTH THAT SAVED ME!!!! To tell and yell, “HELP, JESUS!!! THIS isn’t me or of you and I know the difference!!!” and, all the way in my journey to not be who the enemy said I was and to get away from them and tough/rude love, etc. Inline image 1( Christmas pic 2015, at a bogus AA meeting Hall, they have me at in and, I am not an alcoholic, etc..)The “illegal” King County loop participated in abusing, neglecting, and doing their danmdest to find fault in me to the point of an attempt to beat me into submission to them “man” and/or to their ways becoming life threatening to me..2016!!Displaying IMG_1506.JPG # C16-042702 Deputy Kimberly Roy of king county sheriff’s office 516 third Ave W116 Seattle, Wa 98104-2385 took photos prior to me going to ER. Since, this was an inside job, by those in high places regardless to the facts and/or a bit of my confusion this woman was paid to attack me, regardless to who she is….this is criminal and people like that shouldn’t be free to roam or work the streets……god say, “do not harm the innocent, abandoned, lowly, widows, poor, etc, but lift them up and help them or HE is who YOU will have to answer to and god is above MONEY. god’s wrath will be upon those who do bring harm to his people. the first hate crime to me in Skyway was approx. 7 months ago.
Romans 12:19
19Do not avenge yourselves, beloved, but leave room for God’s wrath. For it is written: “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”
“GOD SAYS, “IGNORANT FOOLS, TO DO THIS TO MY DAUGHTER, FRIEND, WIFE, DISCIPLE AND THINK MY WRATH WILL NOT BE UPON THEM. FOR i AM HER AVENGER, THE ONE AND ONLY GOD!”2016, viewers! THEY DECIDE TO SHOVE MY PRIOR TO 1993 LIFE IN MY FACE AND TRY TO PEG THE STEALING OF MY 3 SONS FROM ME AND ME BEING IN  GROCERY CART ON ME IN 2002!and, the facts weren’t true they had, I didn’t choose drugs and grocery cart!! I was set up and take responsibility for not being there and here to tell of what Jesus did for me!!! Amen! And, I been being right in my ways of wanting to live, since 1992…..just bopping around not understanding why I am so neglected, hated, abused, etc.…just to find out “IT WASN’T ME!! IT WAS ORGANIZED CRIME OF COCKFIGHTING, DAGO MOB HA AND OF THE LIKE, THAT I WASN’T EVEN EVER A PART OF….EVEN ARRON BROTHERS TOM TRIER, ERIC TRIER!! SEX OFFENDERS PUT ON ME!! OMG!! HALLELUJAH, FOR CHRIST AND HIS EYES!!!Amen)
From March to June or so 2000 we saw John Silvia….Jonathan was so calm in the sessions and I was the one yelling, liar, reading my journal of what he did and him and John Silvia kept saying it was me!!!!! I was sick of attending counseling of one kind or another with him on a regular basis since 1994! We began in Dover, New Hampshire at Dover Baptist my 1st favorite church, then the pastor changed and plus, we got the bogus invite to Thackerville, OK by Donald Walters whom Jonathan knew and he and my dad Donald never told me……All to get me back for telling ATF and DEA on him in 1992!Image result for matthew 7:11  As far as I am concerned: THE THACKERVILE, O.K. CASINO ought to be mine; after all “Donald Joseph Walters” is my biological dad!! “birth rights”; IN THE Lord’s name I graciously say,“May it be, Lord? Thank you, if yes or no. Your will not mine, Lord. Amen
 Ask, Seek, Knock
…Matthew 7:10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake?11So if youwho are evil know how to give good giftsto your children, how muchmore will your Father inheaven give good things to those who ask Him!12In everything, then, do to others as you would have them do to you. For this is the essence of the Law and the prophets.…
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CPS was coming oddly to my door.( Today god tells me it was Donald Walters who called them in attempt to cause issues them for me with the system as a form of payback and get this Jonathan and Donald knew each other or of in the plot they had going and I never knew. Yes, they did keep me very clueless).about drugs, but they never had anything on me……I was so stressed that when Jonathan would leave for work I would be venting to my son.
THE EPISODES…..SIX TIMES while venting to my son, I blacked out and when I came to I was hitting him, thinking it was Jonathan. Once coming to,  All six times, I grabbed him with tears and love. We went up to their bedroom and for hours holding my son’s hand I would repent, pray, and ask for his and god’s forgiveness. The last time I spent three hours doing that with my child and my child told me he forgave me. Image result for matthew 7:11 From that point on I promised him I would never do it again and I didn’t. It wasn’t his fault. I never let him think it was. My brain was on over load.
Jonathan began taking his name off our accounts and from that time on I didn’t even know the price of a loaf of bread. I went to Battered Woman’s safe house in Mt. Vernon, but I was such a sick battered woman that I called him from their and I just ended up back home. I didn’t take the kids, because I didn’t want to disturb them more…for a minute I stayed at night and was there in the day for the kids when he went to work. I couldn’t stomach doing anything with Jonathan and I let him take the kids to the Smalleys and Bagleys and hang with him.
From all the meds Funk had me on and the little meth I was trying to balance with it I passed out at Mc Donald’s in keeping my word the the twins of going to McDonalds. The twins would be coming home after being with him at the Smalleys stating they had a new mommy!!!!!!!!! The chaos of rumors thru Stanwood and the Chapel grew and I ignored it the best I could. I, JONATHAN, AND OUR CREATOR KNEW THE TRUTH!!!! 
Brook Fisher and Jason stopped getting me my pot from Brooks’s brother Brian, in which they were my cousins best friends…….Rosemary Fisher Brain and Brooks mom, was a real friend though. She and I began being friends. I gardened with her, yacked, and did projects with the twins with her. She was becoming like their grandma. Brook prior had done some meth with me and that was Jason’s reason for not wanting her to be around me again, but whatever!!!
John Silvia had told me to ask Dr. Funk if he approved of me smoking pot and if Funk said yes then Silvia had no problem!!! Dr, Funk said, no problem if anything if would help. I told Silvia and next thing I know John Silvia made a report to CPS I smoked pot. Mind you nothing was ever being said about meth and today, I believe its cause Jonathan didn’t want to attract attention on him doing meth.
One day, Jonathan had my son staying at the Smalleys!!!!! My son was my son!!!!!! I didn’t have much to do with baby sitters. A few times Doris Eastburry’s daughter would watch them if Jonathan and I were supposed to go out or to a counseling session. I once did meth with her during this period. Anyway, this one day with my son over at the Smalley’s I asked Rosemary Fisher if she would watch the twins while I ran to Marysiville cop shop and got documents I needed to go with island police and get my my son. She happily did.
At the Maryisville court place, it was obvious the law enforcers were on me… I got the documents needed and returned home to the apartment to get my son’s birth certificate as my maiden name; Walters….my container that held my medications had to of been tampered with by Jonathan, cause as I was nervously and shaking to open the door my container fell and pills spilt out under the porch. I was so stressed that I thought, “Oh, I am just running upstairs for a second. I will get them on the way out!” Image result for matthew 7:11
Something happened with my brain! Next thing I know I am being woke up by management, Stanwood police, and CPS naked, nesting in the twin’s bed!!!! Mind you the twins were in a safe place. For the life of me I couldn’t remember where they were. Then I remembered. Why? Because, I didn’t generally have the twins in the care of another and from what ever happened to my brain in that period when I was woken up by them I was disoriented! Today I believe I was having stroke, seizure stuff for lack of better words medication caused by Dr. Funk! (2016, Today God tells me somebody was in the apartment and chloritized my face and they did it other times; those are the times I wake up naked and too disoriented and in a different location.)
CPS, Stanwood police beat me to Rosemary Fishers and took my babies!!!!! Giving custody to Jonathan and immediately banding me from returning home, I had no rights but to grab a bag, not allowed to take my truck, no funds. ( Makes no since to this day; after all the kids were with a safe person, I took responsibility to have Rose watch them, and since when does CPS or any one just rip the kids like that and not use programs to keep family united and “insist” Jonathan do a mandatory divorce they were trying to force??).. Image result for matthew 7:11
I thought, I was supposed to go to mental unit at Mt. Vernon where I stayed for two or so weeks! No, it was drug treatment they meant and mind you not once did they get a dirty or even test me for drugs….Drugs weren’t the problem and that is why I thought it was Mental Ward I was supposed to go to… (They were purposely trying to make me go crazy like in movies such as Terminator and She was “right,” the entire time!!).
Now, I did do some and the first day I went to the Mt. Vernon Hospital to admit myself they wouldn’t admit me due to it in my system. I had to dry out for three days and then I went back and they admitted me. I DIDN’T DO ANYMORE DRUGS FROM THAT POINT, NOT EVEN POT……BUT, in custody of Jonathan he was…..drinking and doing meth….and, it was all a set up… my biological blood family, Jonathan, and my son’s biological side “Ivester’s” side of the family…all on purpose. Smokey point CPS was in on it. Chapel was in on it. Snohomish County was in on the conspiracy! (Today, we find that those whom matter were merely fooled by Satan’s tactics and this chapel is the only one’s out of all who stood up for God in this. Hallelujah!!)!!!! I was clueless and put out like a piece of trash, runt, unwanted, useless, disabled, challenged nothing with no means to survive (but, as my one twin said, “I had and have Jesus with me and HE is how I survived, just to soon be married and victorious over thru HIM, as I receive HIS promises HE wants me to have that are earthly!! Lol, best gifts are from GOD they are abundance, over flowing, real, and Satan cannot really ever take them!!”) and that 6 year olds little voice who told me what carried me thru to today in my muster seed of Christs love for me. Hallelujah for them 3 kids, God himself commanded me to have and said<”together the 3 of them will add to his kingdom and are a form of “trinity” united together! ) and nobody to help me. I never heard of such a thing!!!! It was criminal what they did!!!!! Image result for matthew 7:11
Remember, Donald Ivester my oldest son’s uncle told me there was much family (HA) up here in Washington?
All because I told on HA, Cartel, my father to ATF and DEA in 1992!
I am going to end here for now….little by little is best and I hope to end soon…. lol….thank you, have a nice and safe week. All my love and appreciation.
To this very moment I am still severely neglected, unpaid by the Government for all my work done with and given to them, in my just trying to figure out the “why’s” to my nightmare of a life and them names all came out, wear clothes I also clean with; including the toilet, and am oppressed as “they” blah, blah, blah to me about keeping my faith in God, it’s going to happen any minute, they have a man of Integrity for me and nothing ever happens as I am still neglected, left to be sick with no real help up in any are; just stared at and driven by, and my tech stuff is all diverted to many, many who don’t even belong on device “illegally” on me anyway and when it’s for and of God I will know who is watching me, for my won protection and have access to the tech stuff too..cause, god told me that is of him,not sneaks and spies just watching….I thank you, God for telling me all I know; for no human does and I know nothing with out you. Amen
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Howdy, lol
June/July or so 2000: CPS did that last mentioned ABOVE.. 
All of a sudden I have no rights as a dependent wife, NO PARENT RIGHTS, Jonathan’s medical insurance I wasn’t even able to use, or take my Toyota truck, nothing and no specific direction. 
No office visits with CPS, meetings, plan, processing had happened. 
All that was on the CPS records is John Silvia is who reported, the concern was “pot”, then back word, twisted statements written by the CPS workers from supposed Quotes I, the kids; mainly being my son, and what not had made, but no I and they didn’t. 
I DIDN’T RECEIVE SSI, CAUSE THE KIND I RECEIVE I AM UNABLE TO WHEN A DEPENDENT UPON ANYONE….its just basic DSHS welfare. This is the 1st time in my life, they being my own family, Jonathan, cockfighting world, HA, Snohomish County, San Diego County, Smokey Point County, Island County, Cartel, Chapel members, strangers to me of the community attempted to toss me out as trash and black ball me or worse.
Know why it didn’t work??? I was on my own page, I knew. Though I had some moments. I knew drugs weren’t the problem, me stopping wasn’t going to stop what them people were up to…but, me stopping, even pot from point of admitting self into Mt. Vernon…..7/2000 or so… showed to myself which I already knew, it wasn’t drugs, they never got a dirty on me or Jonathan….or tested me for drugs…..I believed it was mental health. If, I told them my story not really knowing they were in on it, I thought they would be sending their own reports of what I was telling them, that was happening and actually help me and they kids. Instead, the Dr., Psychiatrist would just tell me I was all over the map and insist I take medications that never worked, made situations better, stopped others from harming me, and helped in any way.
I was being told, by Jonathan (who wasn’t suppose to talk to me, but did when he choose to) and something else by CPS that Jonathan is to a force divorce, move the kids out of that apartment due to it traumatizing them, but it was to keep me from entering if I had a key and plus they just moved them to a unit across facing the unit it happened in!! LIARS!! Jonathan put an immediate restraining order on me. I wasn’t able to see the kids…THERE HAD BEEN NO MEETINGS, PAPER WORK WITH ME WITH SMOKEY POINT CPS YET……Jonathan and CPS did this to me while I was in the hospital. They didn’t participate in bringing the kids and himself to a family group sessions or anything. I was being erased and the system was helping!!!
I with no direction, just knew of admitting self into mental ward at Mt. Vernon inpatient. I was there approx. 3 weeks, as usual it was obvious other patients and the staff already knew of me, there were some medical nurses and such from other countries. I had known I been a medical and mental health project and mal/ill practice being done on me. 
(2014 WYOMING: the last male Dr. I saw, yeah illegally wanted to take my body fluid (my amendment rights, civil rights, USA rights) to drug test me; after I had shared with him that I had just experienced staying up staring at my floor for three days and nights, things tasting odd, feeling like stroke stuff or something. )
and, Just to save their own faces and do RETALIATION ON ME from me blowing their crooked town and participation of their part of the conspiracy being done to me UP, since a child my own parents signed me up for!!! If, nothing but “POT” my medication (that I even gave Andi Bell the therapist copies of from CA, HI, WA doctor recommended and FBI stamp and the Seal) safest and best-est for me was even in my system THEY WOULD HAVE USED THAT FOR AN EXCUSE TO TRY GETTING ME FOR BEING A DRUG ADDICT~~~
(Today, WE know the town was set up to wat me prior to me ever going to Sheridan, WY and a Judge, Senator, and Mayor were in on it, all set up by Donald Walters, Donald Ivester, Roger Christie/ NORML in retaliation on me for saving self with Jesus on my side from them!!!!!) then, they followed me here!!  BEEN A LONG JOURNEY PASTORS OF PIRATES, WOLVES, VULTURES, MONSTERS, PREDATORS, AND WORSE….)  
I will end here today…. next will be what happened to me from Mt. Vernon Hospital 8/2000 or so. Thank you and have a safe day, Ya All… lol
Continuing on:
 I believe, I reached out to some Chapel staff and/or member while at psych ward in Mt. Vernon and they came once. I may have yelled at them while there, because they were supporting Jonathan and treating me as if they knew what was better for me and assuming what to pray for me. I am not sure, but they never came again.
 All of a sudden, Jonathan’s medical insurance isn’t covering me anymore. Government staff of some sort put in some request or something for medical bills to be paid. From this point on I was on instant SSI and Medicaid again as I was prior to meeting Jonathan in 1993 and it’s 2000 now???? Nothings making since to me and even with poor choices I made, none of what they were doing to me was logical or normal.
 Next thing I know, I can barely stay awake, I was put in an ambulance or something, and I woke up in the ER in Monroe. I woke up yelling and repeating Jon’s name and he was all I could remember. The medical staff didn’t tell me what was going on. I was a big secret, rather what they were doing to me and with me was a secret being kept from me. 
 Next thing I know, I was being admitted into a drug treatment facility, like behind Monroe Hospital. I don’t really know to this day where I was.
 I stayed one day there. Supposedly Jonathan was supposed to participate in coming for family support sessions. I thought, B>S>!!! I am not going to be subject to that man having me admitted, getting treatment for drugs when he did they himself and remember, by now I wasn’t doing any, including my thc medication? NO WAY!!!!! I was being set up!!!! I still had no clue it was by my own husband (really).
 I left and/or got kicked out of that facility. I had no clue where I was. I took forever walking over to the bus stop across the train tracks with my luggage. One weirdo went to stop and give me a ride, but strangely enough he had a big flash light and I had just dreamt somebody hit me on the head with one….I believe it was a premonition dream and it was that man. I refused the ride. Now, I am all stressed and afraid to take a ride by anyone. I had a major melt down at the bus stop. A police officer in a truck asked me if I needed help. I asked him to call my husband and tell him to come pick me up. 
 I couldn’t understand Jonathan sticking to not being able to, due to CPS, etc. and he would get in trouble, because I had his back when the judge said he couldn’t return home and I bailed him out and we began attending Chapel. I understand today, it was because he is satin and he was doing it to me….he was the ring master of it all for the most part!!!!! I knew he was still doing meth with the neighbor who dropped me off at Mt. Vernon Hospital in the first place. She got fired from truck driving due to meth. She had a teenage daughter and supported some looser. Plus, Jonathan was leaving the boys home drugging with them and neighbors Anne Marie who was age 50 then and other low life’s in Stanwood, when they went to bed and NO JONATHAN DIDN’T COMMUNICATE TO my son HE WOULD BE AT THE NEIGHBORS AND SET HIM UP WITH A PHONE OR ANYTHING…..THEY DIDN’T KNOW!!!!
 Anyway, the law enforcement man gave me $5 to catch the bus. I had no idea where I was. What to do. Nothing!!!!! I think, it was a weekend. I don’t know, but the last bus left and it was now dark.
 I didn’t realize I was across the street from the Monroe ER. I had a meltdown, panic attack, called 911. The ambulance came and took me across the street. Now, I was in the ER, detox drug treatment behind them wouldn’t take me back and I didn’t want to go.
 Somehow I ended up working it out through that woman at the Stanwood apartments to work it out with Jonathan for him to give her the keys to my truck so I could have transportation and at least, sleep in the back with the camper shell while I was figuring out what to do.
 I got the truck. I was now able to drive.  I don’t think, I had been to Smokey Point CPS as of yet or not much or something, but I had a court date in Everett. I attended…they stated I WASN’T ALLOWED TO EVEN HAVE SUPERVISED VISITS WITH THE 3 BOYS!!!! They still didn’t had a dirty drug UA on me. Due to the upsettness of the court in not being able to see the boys I ran out of the building, unable to breath!!!! I ended up across the street from Jr. and Maureen’s at some low life’s guys upstairs who sold pot. He knew my aunt and uncle, had sold pot to them, knew Ann Marie, and knew all of them. He was a cook for some place in Stanwood. Maybe the bar??? 
 I did 2 bong hits!!!! That night, I heard him beating off as I was sleeping across the room! I woke up, yelled at him, had no place to go, but got up and left! That was the 1st and last time I did pot.
 I visited with Rosemary Fisher. She wouldn’t let me stay there, but she found a shelter in North Washington…Burlington???? What is that???? OMG!!!!!!!! It was some saucy church!!! During the day, I sat in the truck all day in the hot sun, with my health conditions as they are now……no funds, nothing, never mind gas funds, etc.
 Next thing I knew, CPS was in contact with that church and I am told to show up in Snohomish for court again and NOW, they were going to drug test me. First and last time ever, I spent my last pennies on those drinks to flush your system out that they use before taking drug tests..
 I slept in the back of my truck at the rest stop going North before Smokey Point or after????? I drank the drink, went to court, and did the UA. It was watery and they called that a dirty….from the two bongs I did days prior.
 Still homeless, now Smokey point CPS is having me come into their office. I am attempting to use the very skills they try having me use in my new life today, being though my life and situation was unmanageable, etc…. when the lady at the desk asked me how I was doing, I stated, “Great!”
 Once in back, the CPS worker slammed her hand on the table and gave me the 3rd degree stating, “What do I have to say great about? I was living in the back of a truck! They wouldn’t let me see my kids as long, as I was living in the truck!!!!!
 That tainted me to this day and I am unable to say, “Great” when things are not. I instantly see and hear that white CPS and black one Nataly Green doing this stuff to me. My people today want me to say that so people don’t know my business and to be positive, but they really messed with me that day and I am effected by it. I think, happy and great what?? Look at me broke, peasant, a nobody, etc….. 
 I had just enough funds to rent a room for $300 or less. That is when I found the room on Camano Island at Colleen’s a cripple from parvo and attended Chapel and knew the Smalley’s, but I didn’t know this then. Now, she was doing art therapy with me…I was like what the H***? Obviously she was brought in on what was being done….. But, I thought she somehow was my friend, etc….
 CPS said I would never get back into the home and I got back in 3 months!!!!! That 3 months Jonathan did something to the boys brains….upon returning they were never really that close to me again and all three of them treated me as if I was a nobody and only Jonathan’s word mattered. 
 I will end here…….for now….story almost over..more to still come.. Image result for in god we trust
I come to you today with info. God revealed to me.
He said, “Remember when you had Jonathan in 13 things to tell the Judge and one of them things was seeing a VA counselor in Mt. Vernon? And, the counselor wrote Jonathan needed to get away from you, yet the man had never met or spoken to you? And, to this day no help you have ever received had let you blame another for your situations or behavior?”
I said, “yes, god. I remember.”
He said, “Well, that is because Jonathan was doing things crooked like when he paid that Nancy off to write up a fake document for the courts of San Marcos, CA…..
I said, “thank you for that freedom of truth, God.”
Then, he said, “Remember when you went to admit yourself 2000, into Mt. Vernon Mental Facility and they refused you due to having meth in your system and told you to return in 3 days when it was out?”
I said, “Yes, lord.”
He said, “That was a lie and it gave the crooks time to get their people in as staff and patients, before you returned. Remember, my daughter you have been through this stuff for a long time. You know, that they do not refuse a person who goes to admit self who is on drugs or alcohol. That in its self is reason for them to admit a person and then treat one as a chemical dependent person and duel diagnose them. It was a set up when they refused you and told you to return in three days as you did.”
I said, “thank you, god for opening our eyes to that.”
Then, God said, “My love, you remember every incident of when you ever blacked out/or passed out caused by any random reason. You were in your clothes and in the same spot when you woke up. Yet, there are times you don’t remember and it’s a mystery to you. Well, that is because one of the criminals in the conspiracy against you was in reach of you, chloritized you. That is why you don’t remember those times, it’s why you woke up in strange places, and why generally your clothing was off.”
I said, “Thank you God for relieving me of the lies and for opening up our eyes.” Image result for matthew 18:10 Image result for matthew 18:10
Moving on: I need to back up a little. At the time, I obtained my truck through that neighbor woman I went to get into the Woman’s Everett Gospel Mission in 2000. I was first, taken to the Men’s shelter. Nobody could direct me to the woman’s shelter a few blocks up. I was made to eat with the Men at the men’s shelter. Oddly enough the back window faces in plain view the place Jonathan worked with the logging and what not. I was eating food with long hair in it.
I finally, was directed to the woman’s shelter. It was a total of three days. My first day was the men’s shelter experience.
My 2nd day woman’s shelter. There a big full blown bull dyke thought I was one. I learned about family owning Hershey’s chocolate business (whatever that means). That night 7 pm ish or so.. I don’t know, I was wanting a drink of water. There were 2 or 3 big black woman in the kitchen too. I got my water and was quietly drinking it. They all hoovered over me, bulling me, and stating that was their kitchen and the kitchen was closed. I threw my water in their face. I was now kicked out back into the truck! I went to the Everett police station so nervous and upset. I was told they help with a night at a motel. All that police woman cared about was the cigarette butt I threw down and was going to arrest me if I didn’t pick it up.
That is how I ended up homeless in my truck.  Approx.: 8/2000
I ended up trying to get help through the scariest place ever, the mental facility in Everett, WA 2000 after that or so…Well, they too slammed their fits on tables at me, yelled at me, told me this and that..
Basketball has always been the prop representing my son, and the office I was counseling in had basket balls, boxes, etc. Obvious subconscious props to trigger me and as messages…on purpose to drive me insane!!!!!
I have been in a lot of offices and sessions. I know fake set up scenes….Counselors don’t just have that stuff randomly in their therapy room…
..Obviously, already knowing of me, insisting I be on medications. They hospitalized me there for a small second and they made me take medications I didn’t need or want. We have the USA right to refuse medications and especially on volunteer cases. When I exercised that right, in my past they overrode me and then would get a doctor to say I couldn’t leave and was on mandatory psych meds. It didn’t fly all that much, but they could keep me on 3 day holds.
Upon renting from Colleen on Camano Island I stopped going there and began getting care from a facility on Camano Island by a Laurel where, Kim a big white lady was the secretary who was from Chapel and never turned her back on me.  Image result for job 42:10 bible gateway

In fact, at the end in 2002 she wrote a letter for the courts on my behalf in regards to the divorce and she stated what Chapel members and staff were doing in regards to supporting Jonathan and being a part of bashing me. Her statement is correct and true, not lies like by those who wrote statements for Jonathan. 

I also began obtaining psych meds, though didn’t need them or what not…. from a Dr., whom Laurell referred me to in Mt. Vernon.
Laurel nor any professional ever stated that the kids be taken from me and/or given custody to Jonathan. 
ONLY Chapel members, staff, blood family, HA family, those involved stated that….not one professional on my side or who worked with me made any statements supporting that…Even the judge in Everett the one few times I was able to make court for the divorce stated, “Her mother wrote that?” with the tone of like “what’s wrong with her mother?”
It wasn’t the intimidation of courts that took my kids, the courts didn’t take my kids; it was the intimidation of Jonathan, blood family, chapel members, and those who participated that intimidated me and stole my kids from me.

Thank you and have a safe week. I will pick up from here another day. I am eager to get this finished and put in in the past forever. I hope, it helps those whom are helping and enabling my 3 son’s up, to help them even better. I hope, this is opening the eyes to the 3 boys who are now men and they are seeing clearly what was being done on purpose to me and them….giving them freedom from the nasty lies of me abandoning them and choosing drugs over them.
I love my 3 son’s! They are mine, not Satins!!!!! And, I want them back with new names, tattoos, and memories to build.
All my gratitude, to Jesus and the power of the all mighty Trinity.
Continuing, Image result for job 42:10 bible gateway
Sometime between 2000 ~ 2002 as a family Jonathan and I attended the biker Christian church in Stanwood up on the Hill. I was addicted to being baptized at all churches I attended and both Jonathan and I were baptized with that church out at the river, after being baptized with Chapel, and Dover Baptist 2005, in New Hampshire. For me, it made me feel fresh, clean, and it was supposed to help my marriage. We didn’t have a big bang with that church as we did with Dover Baptist and Chapel and soon stopped. Today, I believe we didn’t have a big bang there due to Jonathan already deep with Chapel and involving them in what was done to the boys and I. This new church and new people meant him having to start over again, in a way if you understand what I am saying.
From September ~ November 2000
I rented a room from Colleen, I had supervised visits with the twins once a week at Rose Olsons on Camano Island. Rosemary Fisher had died and Rose Olsen was my other friend. She stepped up. She and two other woman on the island, Colleen being one and my future AA sponsor another were my three clients for house cleaning business I was starting at $20.00 an hour. I still, had not been put in any drug program, nor did they ever get another dirty on me after the watery one when I did two bongs.
 Today, God says, they knew they couldn’t get a dirty on me…and, they knew I did the two bongs that day…the whole thing set up…they knew I stopped using any drugs, except their stupid psych pills. I did art therapy, saw Laurell on a regular basis, saw the medication doctor regular, I began Hep C treatment injecting myself daily in the belly and legs for one year. I stayed to myself, I stayed and walked around a lot on the island where and near where I lived. My son was being allowed, “to not talk to me and call the shots” with me. I never saw him. His 11th birthday was coming up and I bought him a paint ball gun that he didn’t enjoy one bit. 
Jonathan didn’t have to do anything, but take pleasure in destroying the boys and our family. He had the twins going to some day care towards Mt. Vernon, they didn’t like her, when I confronted her she denied issues with the twins…she neglected them and they needed ME< NOT HER!!!!!  Image result for job 42:10 bible gateway
I told CPS Jonathan was leaving the kids at home when they went to bed drugging with meth at neighbors Anne Marie’s and that other lady I got my truck key through. CPS stated Jonathan was a responsible user and not to worry about it. They weren’t concerned. 
Jonathan began making a few sessions with Laurel and Fay…..Fay is whom they ended up having me do drug counseling with in Stanwood….Jonathan didn’t impress Laurel or Fay. They both could see right through him, but I wanted my family and they were in support of uniting us. 
I and Jonathan were allowed to attended parenting classed together in Everett, and on brake we would go up to a restaurant or something and HE would buy a drink or two prior to going back to class, NOT ME!!!! It made no since to me, he was the perpetrator, the devil, the psychopath, abuser, etc, daily drug and alcohol user and he was getting away with it all. He was getting away with murder!!!!!..
I was being pegged and paying for things I didn’t do, need….and, what poor choices I did make were blown up into mountains!!!!!!!! The things I was accused of was what Jonathan did and he was portrayed as my profile and the things I did. They switched roles on me and it is a form of mental warfare games…I, god, and the people doing it know, but outsiders who were clueless didn’t know and it was too twisted for them to believe me….. Image result for job 42:10 bible gateway
Thanksgiving 2000 I returned home. Now, Jonathan isn’t caring that CPS hadn’t approved my return yet. Now, he is having me watch the kids while he did something and the police came, due to a report that I was with the kids and there was a restraining order on me…SET UP!!!! Jonathan was supposed to go take care of that and never did, so when I went to get a job a Target, Point Loma, CA in 2007,  it was on my record for a back ground check and I wasn’t able to be hired by Target starting in the bathroom as a cleaner…..that is where they were only willing to put me.
So, Thanksgiving 2000 I was back home. CPS had tude, but they didn’t care…I however, had mandatory drug counseling with Fay for 6 mo. or so and had to attend AA meetings down at the bar in Stanwood. Jonathan, the twins and I would go usually. Joseph preferred to stay home. My sponsor became my 3rd housekeeping client on Camano Island…she was a part of the NICKLE paper or something like the penny savor??? I don’t remember and her husband carved big wood things…anyway…. 
Jonathan still visited with the bagleys and smalleys..camano chapel on Sundays only and I did not!!!! I from this point on have had not wanted anything to do with the Christian community or organization… was hard for me to open up about it and to this day if any one announces they are a Christian…I take it as a warning to RUN!!!!!! I personally know whom one serves by their actions, not by stating they are a Christian. However, I did try becoming involved with the church behind or in front of rather Stanwood apartments next to the Old people’s home or whatever that is. It wasn’t chapels business what I was doing or where I was attending.
I will end here….the computer is shutting off at the library
Mahalo, thank you Lord Jesus for YOUR eyes and Truth. Amen
Happy leap year day, Image result for job 42:10 bible gateway
Please allow me to fill you in with a few details. While still residing at Colleens on Camano Island, I also went weekly to counsel with the twins, rotating turns each week, with a female at John Silvia’s office. Needless to say, I parented automatically what professionals take classes to do and teach. I am exceptionally good with kids. It’s adults I have no patients with or much respect.
As usual, pattern is showing, she too ended up moving or something once we were done…..John Silvia’s swanky wife watched the twin not counselling that day in the waiting room. Needless to say, I wasn’t too respectful to her or John anymore and had hatred for them. Obviously, with used words they still disgust me! What evil people!!!!!! I believe this is righteous anger and hatred: for God hates scandals, liars, murders, thief’s, etc., or rather the acts of…i am not saying he doesn’t love people, he hates them acts and like Cane, they will get God’s wrath for their participation and me and my three sons will be blessed.
Remember, I stated that I know longer was covered by Jonathan’s medical insurance? Well, once I moved back home, I didn’t tell SSI. You see, due to me being a home maker from 1986 beginning with my first husband and with Jonathan (it was on both my marriage certificates HOME MAKER) I didn’t pay into social security. Hence, I only receive basic welfare SSI/Medicaid and as soon, as I am living with a boyfriend and /or husband they take it from me, making me a dependent upon whom I am with. It’s wrong!!!!! I am still disabled and it makes us in my situation a dependent upon one, whom we may not work out with and/or want to have that, as their responsibility.
That means, we are to report it, they remove us from receiving SSI/Medicaid and then, if and when the relationship doesn’t work out, we have to go thru applying again.
Anyway, I, Laurel, and Fay knew Jonathan wasn’t sincere in me moving me back. I didn’t want to be his dependent. So, the entire Hep C treatment was paid by Medicaid. I did treatment through a Dr. in Mt. Vernon and November or so of 2001, I was finished and a success!!!!!! He too retired after I finished treatment. At that time, there was only a 20% success and I was one of them who responded. Image result for job 42:10 bible gateway
Then, SSI sends me a statement that they were stopping my SSI, due to them finding out I was back with Jonathan. Hence, when they threw me into the street 2002 and stole the kids, I was receiving less of the minimum welfare, due to back pay of when I was with Jonathan. (I wasn’t ever aware of being able to apply for a HARDSHIP application) If, you ask me, a lot of what I am sharing shows how Jonathan was 10 steps ahead of me. In the divorce papers that the Lawyer, Chapel gave to Jonathan in destroying our family, writes up a statement from Jonathan, “That I was a medical expense.”
I was very sick while doing the treatment and gained a lot of weight. I would get so sick, that I would have to go over to the Stanwood clinic at times for a few hours to be on an IV of potassium. My Oldest son and the twins would be at home across the street.
No drugs were being done by me still. Jonathan did act nice and open about me continuing my THC, my pot. Today, I believe he was open to it as part of his being ten steps ahead of me…it stays in the system for a regular UA 30 days and he didn’t smoke pot. Meth and coke are out of the system in three days…….he could get away with that and most druggies use meth and coke due to that….unless, a better intense drug test is done it won’t show up in a regular UA after three days. Remember, I have no proof or thought Jonathan was using, drinking or such a sexual creep and weirdo??? OR CHILD OFFENDER!!! I ALWAYS KNEW HE WAS A SOCIOPATH, BIPOLAR, AND A PSYCHO NUT. Image result for job 42:10 bible gateway  (I am not bipolar, nor a few other of Satan’s lil liars; the conspiracy put what they wanted when I was approved for SSI 1991 and they kept the “labels” on me, even as I sought “real” help, no games by me or them. They to this day “play the games and due to the psych meds they insisted I needed, but never helped me or a situation. Gave me mini strokes, impaired my vision 2005~ mini strokes and lost my driver’s license for a minute to now…and, all I need is my medical marijuana miracle herb, a gift to me from God and I have physical disabilities of Satan that try to keep me crippled.)..
He not once showed me his sex OR CHILD weird stuff……So, as I teach what a weirdo he was, I freak out how I was literally sleeping and married to my enemy!!!!!
Also, sometime though all this, SSi had me see one of their own doctors. Jonathan and the kids took me. Their doctor determined I had Fibromyalgia in 2000 or so, prior to CPS putting me out like a piece of trash and prior to renting from Colleen, cause I remember one of her other friends having it and being in a wheel chair. Once in San Diego, Sandy Walters the wicked womb that gave birth to me stated, “I never heard of that.” In her demining and degrading tone, AS IF I was making it up.
The day, Jonathan moved my belongings back home from Colleens he was instantly, more of a devil than usual. In Colleen’s drive way, as he was putting items in the truck, I began already nagging at him stating, “WHAT IS THE PROBLEM??? THIS IS SUPPOSE TO BE A HAPPY OCCASION! WHY are YOU SUCH A MISERABLE PERSON, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH…..?” It was awful, the kids felt it, heard it, saw it…… I knew right them, Jonathan was up to know good and had the exact plans of doing what he did by June 2002.
You see, this way he didn’t appear to be the bad guy and could say HE TRIEDImage result for matthew 18:10 .  Image result for matthew 18:10
Due to not feeling safe, I continued to see Laurel on Camano Island all the way up to October 2002 or so. Funny thing, once SSI/Medicaid was taken from me, since I was living with Jonathan, I was put back onto his medical insurance and now, it didn’t cover sessions I was doing with her and I had to see her less. Jonathan didn’t like me seeing Laurel. In fact, sometime in 2002 prior to Jonathan pulling what he did as his final finally…I stopped seeing Laurel due to feeling safe. Jonathan AS YOU KNOW CAN APPEAR TO BE SO NICE…..the exact day I told Jonathan I wasn’t seeing her any more, he began his “mind games” more and I was back in seeing Laurel…until October or so 2002.
Needless to say, no matter what medications they ever put me on…it didn’t stop what he and the people were up to in abusing, neglecting, and playing mind games, etc. with me….I haven’t ever responded to any medications to this day that they  say I am from bipolar to the rest. I would tell Laurel, nothing is changing….it doesn’t matter if I am on meds or not….I would be up to the dr. for an increase of medication. Things would appear to get better, but no he didn’t stop….THE ANSWER WAS TO GET AWAY FROM JONATHAN! The only medication I have ever responded to is my THC for both physical and mental issues and an anxiety medication. Image result for matthew 18:10
Pastors, I may have my issues, but ONLY THROUGH MY OWN PARENTS, 1978 or so, I was PUT IN AN ADULT UNIT AT paradise Valley HOSPITAL (They have BEEN APART OF THIS scandal, SINCE TIL 2007 AND SHOULD BE SHUT DOWN AND PEOPLE FIRED), ONLY BEGINNING 2000 WHEN WITH JONATHAN AND/OR BLOOD FAMILY 1991, I NEVER WAS IN MENTAL INSTITUTIONS OR SAW OR NEEDED COUNSELING OR MEDICATIONS. AND, FROM 2002-2006 AGAIN AROUND BLOOD FAMILY AND ha FAMILY. (or when in Wyoming and the almost insistence here with the “illegal” King County Loop 2014~present, not authorized by God and  currently being blown up  by Jesus as I am just about to RECEIVE as In Job 42:10)
 Job 42:10 New International Version (NIV)
10 After Job had prayed for his friends, the Lord restored his fortunes and gave him twice as much as he had before.
Job 42:12-17 New International Version (NIV)
12 The Lord blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the former part. He had fourteen thousand sheep, six thousand camels, a thousand yoke of oxen and a thousand donkeys. 13 And he also had seven sons and three daughters. 14 The first daughter he named Jemimah, the second Keziah and the third Keren-Happuch. 15 Nowhere in all the land were there found women as beautiful as Job’s daughters, and their father granted them an inheritance along with their brothers.
16 After this, Job lived a hundred and forty years; he saw his children and their children to the fourth generation. 17 And so Job died, an old man and full of years.
I DO PRETTY GOOD WITH JUST GOD! iT WAS ALL DONE TO ME ON PURPOSE!!!! Excuse me, but God is my counselor and he gave me weed, foods, herbs, berries, fruits, teas, minerals, liquid gold and silver, and other good natural ways to care for myself and GOD loves me and my mind has been restored to sanity……ALL CREDIT TO GOD, NOT ME. i WAS ONLY WILLING.
that OLD  lady, whom sold liquid gold and silver, whom was a very involved Camano Chapel member, lived on the island, and I went on Woman’s retreats with…..she too turned her back on me and supported Jonathan…She was my supposed friend! She wrote a nasty statement in support of Jonathan for the divorce. Funny how all the people were quick to write statements for him….they hadn’t even seen or visited with me since I stopped going in end of 1999. Stranger, is many members who wrote statements on his behalf…I didn’t know or ever meet!! How about that? Image result for matthew 18:10 Image result for matthew 18:10
Hi, Pastors and those monitoring,
Up until, the chaos getting worse in 2000, that lead up to me out of the home, I had been exceptionally involved with my oldest son’s education, since he was 8 months old, starting with Mommy and me infant thru toddler classes.  I had extended the classes at home, like “home schooling”, as in “toddler cooking’. I began with my son. I had an awesome “mommy and me” classes routine with the twins. 
I was robbed and the kids were robbed from that ever being again. 
Upon, me being kicked out of the home thru CPS 2000 the twins went to day care in Stanwood on road towards Mt. Vernon in a big old house by some woman. Oldest son, was in 5th grade and on his own now. something WAS DONE TO THEM AND THEIR BRAIN BEING BRAINWASHED OR SOMETHING AGAINST ME, IN REGARDS TO “ME” BY OTHER PEOPLE’S INFLUENCE, CAUSE THE KIDS NEVER CONNECTED WITH ME FROM THAT POINT ON AGAIN TO NOW AND my son, WAS GONE…FAR FROM ME. WHAT I HAD TO SAY, NOW DIDN’T MATTER. I WAS TREATED LIKE A ‘PROBLEM, WEIRDO, CRAZY, INSANE, BRAIN DEAD PERSON”. Image result for job 42:10 bible gateway
Thanksgiving 2000, I returned: in 2001 fall, the twins started kinder and I was too ill from the Hep C treatment, to be much more there for special reasons that had to do with them WITH THE CLASS. ALSO, THE TEACHER TREATED ME AS THOUGH I WASN’T RIGHT SOME, DIFFERENT. IN FACT, SHE INSISTED THE TWINS BE DIVIDED AND SEPARATED GOING INTO 1ST GRADE!!!!!! WHAT THE h***??? THEY ARE MY TWINS! TWINS WITH SAY, ON THEIR OWN WHEN DIVISION AND SEPARATION WILL HAPPEN!!! STANWOOD ELEMENTARY OVER RULED MY CHOICE FOR THE TWINS AND MADE IT “THEIR CHOICE”! IF, you ask me they were involved too.
The neighbor girl walked them to school. My son had begun 6th grade. My son never had to do anything, because I was drugging and/or sleeping. If, he did, it was due to my health and/or the medication…..  He was able to do snacks and things if he wanted. I did do main meals breakfast, lunch, and dinner. If, at my son’s baseball games or anything, I am the type of “fan” that roots and cries out loud. Jonathan would always tell me to be quit. It supposedly was cuz, it embarrassed my son. But, why? And this is who I am…excuse me!!! Do not tell me how to be with my son!!! Or, how to parent him……who the h*** was he?? Look at him and how he turned out!! All built up inside me and verbally would come out…in front of every one. 
During the time of me being back home from Thanksgiving 2000 ~ end of July or so 2002 Jonathan put the volume up in “mind games”. I call it military psychological warfare tactics and only the person it’s being done to, the person(s) participating in doing it, and our “CREATOR” know. He knew just how to bring the worse out of me. today, I know that if one brings the worse out in me, (first check myself) and if, I check out OK then get away, cuz to be around what brings the worse out in me, does not have my best interest at heart.   Image result for job 42:10 bible gateway
Sometime, during that time I sought out other AA/ NA, acceptable 12 step studies approved while I was seeing Fay.  A church with a 12 step was located in I don’t know Marysville, smokey point, Arlington????? Area???? If, you know me, I don’t go out of my territory or area of comfort, unless I really, really want to…and, I went there weekly….some lady, big part of that church lived in Stanwood or on Camano Island or something….I don’t remember, but I know I was happy or something of a connection…..anyway, I learned that church was having a Woman’s retreat….and, I got a scholarship to go, like the chapel let me..that woman picked me up and drove up to the retreat…..
Unlike, THE retreats I had gone on with the chapel this one wasn’t spiritual…..I was in hell!!! i was pathetic. All I did was whine and cry how I wanted to get back home to my husband.. 
I felt like an idiot because I did everything I could to show and prove I wanted to be back with my family and once upon my arrival “it had already been planned that Jonathan was going to just intimidate me and play “mind games”, then, say “what??? I’m not doing anything. “AND, NOW all the people I cried and whined to and how sick I was before returning ONLY GOT BAD REPORTS and, how much I hated being there with him. He was miserable to live with…!!! .shacking, miserable, acting out, smoking my cigarettes, bondage, crying, just miserable, 
Image result for job 42:10 bible gateway HOPE??????? it’s all I was doing…hoping my husband would love me and be my best friend and blah, blah, AS IF, MY WHOLE EXISTENCE WAS Dependent UPON HIS APPROVAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and, yes at this point, including my own children….these people could care less if I dropped dead and/or just disappeared and it was obvious…I was meaningless, to my husband and three son’s….meaningless, replaceable, disposable: by my own kids…no natural bond … this happened upon CPS having me removed from the home 2000 and they have never connected to me, again. However, I have never lost, but strengthened my spiritual connection, if you will with them….my ambilacord had stayed connected to them…my source of energy…I was not going to be erased from their memory and my hopes have been to be reunited with them, returned tenfold what was robbed from us in a meaningful relationship with each other and the chance to be enabled to live in the “good life” of winners, not wieners, criminals, mentally deranged, junkies or evil doers of the like….ewwww!!!! SAFETY!!! 
So, Pastors these were the things I was doing and hoping….during these years of no longer having association with those at Chapel…….
Thank you lets end here for now…we should be done soon….
Oh, during 2001 I signed Jonathan and I up for massage classes, we took across the street at Stanwood Clinic. Things that we could do together as a couple to add for the life of a relationship. During this time, Jonathan attended Chapel pretty regularly to do his Sunday appearance, associated and took boys to Smalleys and Bagleys… I was told. Ellen Bagley gossiped to members and staff….for some reason her words were valued as gold and truth… if, Ellen’s opinion mattered with anything…
Let’s see, 2001 Christmas I was no longer on Hep C treatment and I will take it from there next…..or try, lol
Image result for job 42:10 bible gateway Thank you for allowing me to do this self-help journal and book Image result for job 42:10 bible gateway
It’s a was a Friday when I wrote the 1st draft of this with only the most “righteous Chapel” I even knew, who stood up for God in all this “hallelujah!”. I just had the colon procedure and they removed palps or whatever it is. God and man is restoring my health. 
Man has been playing games with me with my TCH medication, as they often do, while I am still in my current situations and that brings the worse out in me, because I do not have income to gamble on product that isn’t going to help. They just put out one’s I don’t respond to this month so far..I played a little, (like $80.00 worth and that makes me very unhappy), tested it, and looked at the positive I did get out of it, because if I don’t them I get very upset and that makes me sicker. Today, they had one type I respond to and that was $40.00, and will last for days at the most. Image result for matthew 18:10 Image result for matthew 18:10
I get my feelings hurt and insulted, because I so need this safe herb for many of my mental and physical issues, I don’t have income to gamble on product and once I am out of monies, then there are no funds for me, until next month on pay day and I do suffer with out my medication; and, nobody ~really~ helps to this day, just stare, watch, and smoke where most don’t even medically need as I and others. 
Psalm 82:3 New International Version (NIV)

Defend the weak and the fatherless;
    uphold the cause of the poor and the oppressed.

I already know they are saving the best for last with me on this subject, which means one of these marijuana stores are mine and more! How exciting!!!! Still, it doesn’t help today and God, Himself doesn’t like when man messes with me and my medication, wasting my funds….HE said, “She is supporting herself, is being dependent on self, and that ought to be honored by man. Man isn’t there to help you when your funds are gone on the games of bait they put for you and you took (in them playing with me), as in providing for yourself, my daughter. So don’t worry. You care and provide for yourself and I, am God whom will provide and deliver my promises in abundance to you.”
Matthew 18:10 New International Version (NIV)
The Parable of the Wandering Sheep
1“See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven.
Image result for matthew 18:10 As for time, back home from Thanksgiving 2000~ July or so 2002, there isn’t much to tell…..I was basically nagging Jonathan day and night about his insincerity as being my husband, loving me, grateful for his family, etc…OH A BIG THING HE HEARD ABOUT WAS HOW HE DRUGGED AND WHORES, AROUND WHILE I WAS OUT OF THE HOME AND HOW DARE HE THIS, AND HE THAT!!! HE WAS GOING TO PAY AND MAKE IT UP TO ME!!!! 
REMEMBER, prior to 2002 and when with Tom Trier Dago Mob Ha set up to also cause me harm and sexually assault me 2005~2008 (being put in that position, making me appear to have no since to be in a healthy relation!1 YES, I do!!),  I WAS STILL AS SICK, BATTERED WOMAN, VICTIM MINDED PERSON….He was an extremely miserable person to be with. His energy stomps out happy…I was very unhappy. It wasn’t the kids I was always yelling or nagging at…it was Jonathan and our relationship. I showed my disgust, DISRESPECT FOR HIM, and all in public… Joseph’s baseball games, wherever we were….I didn’t hide it… describe how it was is just too hard…there was a lot of misery, mind games, bad vibes, walking on egg shells, and I would call him on it and he wouldn’t speak for days, not answering questions or participating for the better. He HATED ME BEING RIGHT. HE NEVER TOOK ACTION IN SINCERELY BEING SORRY FOR ANYTHING REALLY……Image result for matthew 18:10 Image result for matthew 18:10 Image result for matthew 18:10
Jonathan DID PHYSICALLY TOUCH THE KIDS AND ME, SO I WAS PRETTY TRIPPED OUT WHEN MY oldest son, by blood son, not his WANTED TO BE WITH JONATHAN. Once EVENING in 2002, my son had come down stairs to get a book, a book fell onto the carpet….so what right???? MY blood son happily ran UPSTAIRS with the book he wanted. Jonathan called him down in a tone of rage, grabbed MY CHILD by  the back of the neck, like you do to a puppy when rubbing the puppies nose in his poop, stating to my son, ” PICK UP THAT BOOK!!!!”, my son REPLIED, “WHAT BOOK?”, Jonathan grabbed back of his neck, shoved my son’s nose to the book and said, “THAT BOOK! PICK IT UP NOW!!!” and, that pastors is how Jonathan parented and I wouldn’t allow him too…this particular time I did nothing but sit on the couch in a ” what the h*** did I just see and my son wants to be with him?? What the heck??? I didn’t treat the kids like that….nor did I allow Jonathan too…and, who was going to protect me kids, if I was to be the one gone????? NOBODY NOT EVEN GOD PROTECTED MY THREE SONS!!!!! Obviously, I am still and always have been protecting them to best of my ability. All the way to asking FBI for help…Image result for matthew 18:10
Who isn’t an attentive mom???????? Cause, I know they aren’t speaking about me~ I even got the 1st pictures of each of my three sons 1st things from walking to standing and going pee…You  show me another parent who can say that??? No, generally many photos are taken of the 1st kid, less of the 2nd, less of the 3rd, and none by the time they get to have the 5th or more. An attentive parent I was and am….
All I know, is me and drugs were no part of the reasons for what was done to my three sons and me.
Image result for matthew 18:10 Pic up Xmas 2001……….    from there to Oct. 2002 where Chapel was helping Jonathan destroy our family and put me out like a piece of trash that had no rights to her kids or spousal support, no right to anything but a grocery cart. Chapel members and staff whom meddled in this helped put me into a grocery cart, get me and my 3 son’s  sexually abused thru our butts sexually, and helped Jonathan destroy the kids in ways!!!!!! GOD HAS HAD HIS HAND IN THIS FOR HIS GLORY TO BE TOLD AND THE THREE KIDS HAVE ACTUALLY COME OUT DARN GOOD, MUCH LIFE FOR THEM TO BE FREED UP FROM WITH THE LIES THAT CAPTURED THEM AND ME…ROBBED AND HARMED US.
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Appreciate you Pastors,
During the Holidays of 2001, somehow we, the kids came up as “angel”??? for gifts…anyway, I had to go to the thrift stores and/or whatever was happening in the community of Stanwood and Camano Island…in giving gifts and assistance for families thru the holidays….by now, our home, the relationship with Jonathan and I was chaotic as could be…my oldest son, the twins went to all these places with me, they stood in the lines, my oldest son helped pick item out at each place for the twins…in all honesty it was the worse……nothing in any of them places of any choice gifts, etc….more like ‘pity’ items for ‘poverty’ that nobody wants….oldest son was so disgusted…he actually, didn’t want anything!!! I ended up going back and returning an item for a monkey for oldest son, the ladies were all mad and told me about rules and how I wasn’t supposed to bring him in anyway, I stated how there was nothing of any selection…it was over near Stanwood Elementary..?? Anyway, I got the monkey for oldest son….needless to say, on X-mas day he was disappointed anyway……
By 2001 Christmas evening: Image result for matthew 18:10 
Beginning with my connection for weed…a female “D”??? from Camano Island, Stanwood, Mt. Vernon Area, knew Anne Marie, many others, my cousins who grew up here Eddie and Norman, their parents Louis Gaumond and Maureen Gaumond in Stanwood and owned L & M Heating and Air, along with other things, like selling pot themselves; anyway, they all knew her, she was a bar tender at the Elks Club in Mt. Vernon. 
Around this time of year, I could not stand being in same area space as Jonathan. For some odd reason, it was I who always had to leave the house, if a separation or such of one being who leaves. Why? I had zero income and was a disabled home maker and by this time SSI’s own Dr.’s classified me as physically disabled, never mind anything mental, due to having Fibermyalgia. I am whom, had to go to a shelter or some institution, even if we (I) attempted to handle issues before CPS or anyone like that make choices for us again.
At this time, I was beginning to discuss options of him leaving the house: the housing up above the bar in Stanwood, near the market? The men’s shelter $5.00 per day, rent a room…. ‘NO!!! HE WAS GOING TO BE DAMNED IF HE WAS WHO LEFT OR PAY CHILD SUPPORT. I WAS WHO WAS GOING TO HAVE TO LEAVE!!!,” was his words…so, it was I who left……I also couldn’t wait to be away from him, that I believe, looking forward to Tuesday evenings to Smokey Pt, 12 step at that church was my “high light”…it began as a first time positive as a solution in getting away and that was the only time I got, FROM HIM!!! with a legit reason…I ended up using that night to go “use” once it burned out and I didn’t have to go and anyway,…..Image result for matthew 18:10 
Long story short, by purchasing my pot at $60.00 an 1? 8th of medical marijuana from her, where she lived in Mt. Vernon and gave me the best deal and of what was around, with funds I made from my housing cleaning clients…my own…blah, blah, blah I ended up on meth again!!!!! I had the bright idea, that: I would still buy my pot from here and to be able to be away from Jonathan, NOT THE KIDS, when he was home from work approx. 6 pm average 6 nights a week with Sunday off…
ONCE, JONATHAN WAS HOME…I WAS GONE AND I WAS going to be darned, if it was going to be in a shelter or institution!! So, she used me to clean her filthy, filthy, contaminated walls, being. Oh, I don’t know…I cleaned and packed her and her kids up from infancy to I don’t know 21??? Her last baby was in CPS care, I think being taken due to her being a heroin addict??? Total biker, meth house…She provided the best meth for me..I cleaned all night and packed their house up…in the morning, I would drive back to just pass Jonathan leaving the home and I would do my parenting and what not with them…he still only handled the finances… this is a part of the story for a bit later..
Basically, by Christmas 2001… That day, I threw a pan at Jonathan or something. He had a way of making statements to the kids that put me down, but they didn’t realize it… He was purposely, causing me to act out of character, appear to look like the bad guy, and be who walked out; esp. it being Christmas…. anyway, I didn’t care!! I left and ended up at “D’s” white house….close to Elks Club?? A woman’s shelter is a block up…or so? I think, me attempting to stay there also lead me to, just walk over there, where I could clean her place, be on good meth, have my pot, be away from Jonathan….it was important to me that I did not take the kids, in the manor parents do and such..” the problem was in the relationship with Jonathan and I”, nothing to do with the kids. I do not know what he did to them or said to them in regards to me, when I was not there…. Image result for matthew 18:10
IN my head “D” was my fourth client for my house cleaning business…but, she paid me with false atmosphere,  false need for my services, false sincerity,  she had motives and   long term reasons for keeping me on that meth.. Or rather, getting me on it..again
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xo…love and hugs to you all, the computer is about to shut off. More to come another day, but story almost very much over..Praise Our Lord..amen
Wow, let this be the end!!! by the way viewers, while I was writing this and sharing it for the first time ever, just this last Easter or so with the Church Pastors that know of this “true” story, those in the “illegal” King County loop that was set up to devour me, prior to even moving here 2014 via Sheridan, Wy via Donald Walters, Donald Ivester, etc…stole and destroyed my vehicle here in Skyway, so. WA 2016 AS I WAS WRITING THIS!! see CASE # BELOW: 2016, PEOPLE!!! and, the 80″s, 90’s,  and Wyoming set up 20012 being smeared in my face, like I was who the Freak of Society was!! Instead, of the “majestic miracle being” I am…..
case # C16-012986 Deputy Don Scherck king county Sheriffs 516 Thrid Ave Seattle, WA took the report…..I had woken up that morning to go get in my car to go to a meeting and my Honda civic had been stolen and gutted and destroyed where it was found just basically around the corner from where I live…..I have no clue why they did that to me, except for one of the neighbors that live in my same building, is a twin, mother Teresa lives at greentree too, he creeps me out and he had been ringing my door bell at mid night…i do not know him or talk to him and i called 911. Next I knew my car was stolen and destroyed…that is all I know..
Deputy Sherck stated that bad people victimize and that the criminals have more rights…I am more than sure the same group of people who live in same apartments and are street did this. Just last week as I was walking one stated that it’s been 6 months since and why would he be keeping track? So, residence at greentree and the King county sheriff’s know who did it. Image result for mothers of preschoolers bible gateway
Needless to say, I realistically am in poverty and have been using my disabled body and feet for transportation, in which doesn’t get me too far and I have no funds to buy another. Nobody has gotten in trouble for the theft and destruction of my car.
Just a few months ago, I was sitting in front of Skyway library smoking a cigarette. I looked up and saw a big, heavy set black woman wearing something that don’t look good on me when I am over weight. I complimented her. She did look nice in it and did wear it well. Next thing I knew she wanted to argue and fight. She followed me into the library, yelled at me, and put her hands on me. 
case # C16-026025 Deputy T.Brunner KIng County Sheriff’s office 516 Third Ave Seattle, WA took the report and I am not sure what happened to her, but I do know she was a stranger, not only did i not do anything but compliment her..she put her hands on me and that was not OK.
Basically, I didn’t get back into the meth, until around May or so of 2002.
Backing up a little: while still at Colleen’s in 2000, I humbly crawled to my violators Maureen, Jr., Eddie, and Norman Gaumond. Because, in my blood family “I” was whom had to make amends for things I didn’t even do or was aware of and ultimatums were always given to me, IF I wanted to be a part of the family!!! Image result for mothers of preschoolers bible gateway
Maureen Gaumond; Jr.s Gaumonds 2nd wife, by the way my dead uncle Richard Gaumond in San Diego, CA, I believe, changed long ago the real spelling “Gomo,” of the last name to “Gaumond”),was the only one there that day, I visited her often. She smoked her pot in front of me, I was still going to Fay and AA meetings in Stanwood, but Maureen and I had full plans of HER, Norman, THEM selling me my 1/8ths and or scoring me my pot, once I was finished. Strange, huh? since, pot is what john Silvia and the big deal was being made about…In 2001, sometime they are now asking me to score for them and it ended being that “D” girl, whom they all knew already and my Uncle Jr. would talk about wanting to have sex with. Strange, because she was and is a real whore…..yet, she is whom everyone wanted to be with….strange, but she and Jonathan were having sex!!!!! Image result for mothers of preschoolers bible gateway
I have never committed adultery!!! the typical homemaker I am Is: I support my companion in what they are doing “illegal or legal”…My hours of operation are an average of an hour getting up prior to husband and kids, making breakfasts, lunches, getting people off for work or school, had the kids in after school activities, read books and prayed before bed, did mommy and preschool cooking, made homemade play dough for them, took M>O>P>s mother of preschoolers Image result for mothers of preschoolers bible gateway  at church Dover Baptist 1995 and Chapel 1997 or so, set up play dates for the kids, sports; developing their social skills and other
God given talents. Made sure groceries, bills were paid and done, Basically, a good imitation with a lil sexy spice to keep husbands “interest” as a June Cleaver home maker or Donna Reed, if you will and YES, Tom Trier and others in my past got the same home maker!!!! Image result for mothers of preschoolers bible gateway
 Unappreciated; as a woman of God, their helpmate and more in Christ. As we formed our comprehension of a family in HIM and I am not able to participate in any other relation, period. I will not let a man lead as head of house, who is not letting Jesus lead him!!! I was not put here to be anyone’s victim to neglect, abuse, abandon, oppress!! Not God’s will for me!!
More e.g.s of the type of homemaker I was: very much a part of the children’s classrooms and active with their schools, studied God’s word thru the entire day, as many see me now……cleaning the house, accepting I was with a looser and being happy that the grocery store, doctor appointments, bathroom, kids school and sports and church activities, etc. BE OUR FAMILY TIME!!!! THAT WAS GOING OUT!!!Image result for mothers of preschoolers bible gateway
(As for, me continuing in my upkeep of appearance the home, etc..for any man whom doesn’t take well care of me…well that stopped…no way did i care to look good, sexy, or anything for such a man or his home; but, the kids separate than that dead beat husband, so invest more thought and stuff into them..ultimately, the wicked adults intimidated me enough to the point of “handing” the boys over to Jonathan at free will, but it wasn’t my FREE will…they intimidated me via many ways and the plans were already in motion by all participants..I wasn’t’ even able to get myself a lawyer, not even a pro Bono; one’s in Stanwood said, “it would be conflict of interest for them to help me, because Louis Gaumond was a witness in favor of Jonathan Barber obtaining full custody of the boys, and that he was also a lawyer for Louis Gaumonds L&M air conditioning business, etc……Dago Mob HA had it “hooked” up to steal my babies and put me in a grocery cart and “train” me sexually by the members and sexual offenders that owed Dago Mob favors..) Image result for mothers of preschoolers bible gateway
 IT WAS my oldest son’s DEATH BENEFITS from Oliver Joseph Reno Ivester, that was shot in the back of the head by inside job 1994 El Cajon, Ca, whom was oldest son’s biological father of Dago Mob HA, brother to Donald Ivester, Mathew Ivester, David Ivester, Steve Holley, Mike, omg, like 500-5000 brothers WW and “I never really knew or saw a thing or know more of any people named, but what I share!!!! I was one of their “victims” not participants!!! And, Jesus, God OUR Father, the lamp over me IS THE ONLY 1 AND REASON WHY I AM HERE TO SHARE THIS TESTIMONY, period!! ONLY THE HOLY SPIRIT’S POWER IS WHY I am a survivor, to expect any moment by God to be “ONLY VICTORIOUS’ over all of IT, in HIM and HIS GLORY!!!
Job 42:10-17 New International Version (NIV)
10 After Job had prayed for his friends, the Lord restored his fortunes and gave him twice as much as he had before. 11 All his brothers and sisters and everyone who had known him before came and ate with him in his house. They comforted and consoled him over all the trouble the Lordhad brought on him, and each one gave him a piece of silver[a] and a gold ring.
12 The Lord blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the former part. He had fourteen thousand sheep, six thousand camels, a thousand yoke of oxen and a thousand donkeys. 13 And he also had seven sons and three daughters. 14 The first daughter he named Jemimah, the second Keziah and the third Keren-Happuch. 15 Nowhere in all the land were there found women as beautiful as Job’s daughters, and their father granted them an inheritance along with their brothers.
16 After this, Job lived a hundred and forty years; he saw his children and their children to the fourth generation. 17 And so Job died, an old man and full of years.
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Betty a member of the chapel, that old lady whom sold liquid silver to me, whom was and/or is a member and helper of Chapel…THAT B**** MEDDLING FOOL!!! She meddled with and wrote something up in support of Jonathan getting the boys!! I hadn’t even seen her since, the chaos out of hand after visiting San Diego for 1999!!!!!! 
I had asked Rose Olsen, (my true choice of type of friends I prefer to keep) to stay in their guest house with the kids, while being a full time house keeper for them….everyone to this day always tells me “NO” yet, those like Jonathan are able to get them to kiss his B*** and fall for his “martyr” act he plays…In fact, one day while cleaning for them, Rose states that Craig Olsen found a full time house keeper and they didn’t need me anymore, something was said about me having to bring the twins, which made no sense, cause the twins didn’t bother me cleaning for them. I was pretty bitter, thought WHAT THE HE**? THEY CAN’T HELP ME AND NOW, PUT ME IN A WORSE SITUATION?!!!! I NEVER REALLY EXPRESSED HOW I GOT BITTER, Rose and I stayed friends, she stocked our freezer with beef from here to there to the point, where I didn’t want to see cow again!!!! /x-mas 2001, she gave me a tool set for Jonathan from Costco. Image result for JOB 42:10
I continued to see Laurel as often, as Jonathan’s insurance would allow me to and stayed friends with Rose Olsen to the end October 25th, 2002. I believe, she is whom dropped me off at the bus in Stanwood to go to the Airport to San Diego. Image result for JOB 42:10
 I attempted in 2002 to take me and the twins to a woman’s shelter in Mt. Vernon, while my sonwas attending my biological sister’s wedding and visiting them, in which I wasn’t asked if he can or invited myself….I wasn’t good enough for them!!! I have always been treated like I WAS THE FREAK, THEY TAUGHT MY KIDS TO TREAT ME THAT WAY TOO AND THEY ARE ALL THEY FREAKS, WEIRDOS, and CRIMINALS FOR REALZZZZ!!!!! Image result for mothers of preschoolers bible gateway
AT THE SHELTER, I am the idiot whom calls her offender…..needless to say whatever Jonathan and family members did to my 3 son’s in regards to brainwashing them against me, upon CPS getting me out of the home in 2000….and, the times following that I would leave, as to not be around Jonathan when he wasn’t at work….whatever they did to my 4 year old twins brains and my 10 year old son’s brain’s in regards to me left them detached from me since, and at the shelter the twins screamed as if, being abused for their “daddy” !!!!
 On the phone at the shelter Jonathan told me that if, I didn’t bring the twins home, he was going to go to court and have them taken from me!! Me an idiot, didn’t have the brain capacity to tell staff at woman’s shelter or to realize, at the shelter I had the upper hand and they wouldn’t have given custody to him…I LET HIM INTIMIDATE ME AND BROUGHT THE TWIN’S HOME!!!!! Image result for mothers of preschoolers bible gateway
THAT’S about when I began not going to that shelter again, but going to that “D” girls where I could be on good dope, clean at night, lose weight gained form medications, be there in the morning for the kids when Jonathan went to work, sleep while they were in school, be there for them when they were home and by 6 pm or so when Jonathan got home leave, and start over again the next day!!!
That holiday in May….family is at the mall in Mt. Vernon…I was happy or trying to be that for once, we get to go to the mall and hit holiday sales!!! Well, there is Jonathan wanting to buy a lame necklace….for some other woman!!!!! Now, i am at the mall wanting to ‘kill’ him, tolerating my emotions and not saying a freaking word!!!! Trying to let the twins shop, trying to be open minded and buy my stupid sister and her stupid husband Erik Hall fun marital bed activity gifts from Spenser’s!!!! It was awful!!!! Jonathan and I were on meth…..Image result for mothers of preschoolers bible gateway
 And, as I came around the corner from the bottom of the stairs he beat me bloody with his white sneaker. My blood was on his sneaker, I had egg whelps from head to toe. I STATED, “MY BLOOD IS ON YOUR SNEAKER! I’VE GOT YOU NOW, YOU BASTARD!!!! i AM CALLING THE COPS!! And, you are on meth for sure this time!!!”
Jonathan stated, “If, you call the cops I will tell them we are both on meth, have them drug test you, and let them take the kids to a foster home, before I let them let you have them and I pay child support!!!!” I didn’t call the cops. Image result for mothers of preschoolers bible gateway
The next day, the idiot I am thinking my family had my best interest at heart….oMG!!!! How they are the causes of most my calamities, we find out!!!! anyway, I scared, embarrassed…it’s embarrassing to always be crying to people for help and situations, yet the situations never get better…..excuse me for wanting my marriage to truly work out and /or family to help me away from him with the kids!!!!! 
Embarrassing, cuz as the victim we are lead to believe “we” are why and the cause to our calamities and troubles!!!! 
anyway, I opened up to Jr. and Maureen, admitted we had been on meth, showed them the eggs whelps, bruises, etc. on me from head to toe from Jonathan beating me with his sneaker and how he intimidated me to not call the cops…..!!!!! Them, SOB’s!!!!! They, my biological dad, Jonathan, everyone speaking together on things to do to me and my kids, as they make me think we don’t speak to each other!!!!! That is the day Jr. opened his mouth about Jonathan and them speaking about witting a divorce up and what to do with the kids and such, behind my back!!!! Image result for mothers of preschoolers bible gateway
July or so 2002, I end up filing for a restraining order on Jonathan. Again, the idiot I am, *I call him…..he goes through the Bagley’s to get messages to me…….
 I am appearing to look Unbalanced, IN CAPABLE TO MAKE DECISIONS……..i go and uplift the restraining order, cuz Jonathan promises to participate in a healthy marriage!!! NO, UPON HANDING THE UPLIFTED RESTRAINING ORDER TO HIM AT HIS JOB in Everett, HE SHOVED IT DOWN MY THROAT HOW I STATED HE DID JOBS FOR THE HELL ANGELS AND BASED ON ME FOR MY STATEMENTS IN THE RESTRAINING ORDER AND HOW DARE I………!   From that moment on I was shaking more than ever, I trembled driving home and feared him coming home!!!! From that point on, he acted as if I was not even there, he just talked to the kids, my sheer existence made him and my kids want to cringe and vomit!!!! What the he**???!!! This wasn’t me and my doings!!! Things were being purposely made that way and bringing the worse out of me was part of their plans!!!!
During this time, I had gone up to my aunt and Uncles.
Jr.  And I, as far as I know were the only one’s there. He and I went in his room and smoked some pot…..I was ranting and what not about my situation with Jonathan…and, out of the Blue my uncle Jr. asks me if I want to go in his room and have anal sex!!!!  Did my ears really just hear that???? OMG!!! So people who aren’t gay or bi really do sex acts like that??? I was traumatized!!! Where did that even come from??? He just laughed…I laughed….not knowing, I was laughing at me with him…..needless to say, no I didn’t have sex with him!!!!
During this time, I had now been so raged with the Bagley’s. Betty, the Smalley’s, that German gay woman and others from Chapel that I basically, called them up and haunted them for their participation in supporting Jonathan, their ignorance to them believing him, and calling them on scripture…I didn’t and don’t care if I sound like the Devil…that is how I sound when i am being victimized on purpose and people are meddling and stealing my kids!!!!!!! DON’T JUDGE ME!!!! Image result for mothers of preschoolers bible gateway
I GUESS, Ellen Bagley has a master’s in doctrine and psychology, cuz she was able to make statements and write statements up for the courts in the divorce, of just “how dangerously and unpredictable bi-polar” I supposedly am, with comments that I would steal the kids, blah, blah, blah……..anyone, with a brain can easily see that there is definite evidence to a pattern and doings done to me, that they, MY ACCUSERS WERE REALLY THE UNPREDICTABLE, DANGEROUS, PREMEDITATION OF CHAOS AND DESTRUCTION, DRUGGIES, ALCOHOLICS, SOCIO PATHS, MEDDLERS, THIEVES WHOM STOLE MY KIDS AND PUT ME IN A GROCERY CART!!! What was said I would do…IS EXACTLY WHAT THEY DID TO ME AND MY KIDS…. Image result for mothers of preschoolers bible gateway Image result for mothers of preschoolers bible gateway
I was clueless, remember?? Just h ow Jonathan and they wanted me??? Basically, what “all “participants” claimed insane acts I would do and/or being bipolar or anything, IS EXACTLY WHAT THEY DID, WHAT THEY REPRESENT. How could not one brain of God see? Because, that is just how cunning, baffling, and devious Satan works and is..He will even fool the wisest in God with his fake “Sheep/ lamb suit”….it’s OK and many today, we see were innocent victims to Satan’s tricks in all this, but many stand guilty as well…Hallelujah for Our Lord, amen.
 The lawyer you, chapel gave to Jonathan and his wife are pigs and sold themselves out to help the devil destroy me and the boys and put me in a grocery cart!!! Good example of being a Christian lawyer!!!!!! So, today you tell me you’re a Christian anything, i say, thanks for the warning me and I run far, far away!!! Image result for mothers of preschoolers bible gateway
 I know who one is, by their actions, not their titles. Excuse me, buy why did we need a lawyer in the first place?? We had nothing, but the kids to share and/or divide….nothing….so, I was lead to believe….as I humbly sat in plastic patio chairs for 10 years as kitchen table chairs and hear him he cry, cuz he didn’t have a guitar to never play….whaa whaa the big baby, Jonathan!!! He had a family and wife whom loved him but that wasn’t good enough for him…oh, yeah truth comes out……..Jonathan WAS MISERABLE WITH my son, i, AND THE TWINS CUZ , HE WAS ORIGINALLY SENT IN TO DO A JOB WITH US AS IN, drive me insane, get the kids, “pay back” for me telling on them to ATF and DEA in 1992!!! Payback from my own blood family, cartel, and hell angels, etc… disgusting this story is and all whom participated!!!
FOR SHAME!!!!!!!!!
i am done for today….I hope and believe there is one more and then, this part of the story will be over.
I am grateful for the participation for what is right that Chapel has stood up for. Thank you and have a safe week. Image result for mothers of preschoolers bible gateway I, personally have not experienced any “mother’s Day”, from my own 3 son’s since 2000 to present, who were stolen as babies, now men still choosing to “neglect” their mom and give “no love” to the glory of truth that has come out and set us free!! Satan’s tactics that is it, God will get his Glory…watch….and, no I don’t appreciate any one’s “happy Mother’s day” I get at that time of year…my kids were stolen, big deal I gave birth, still left to be alone that day neglected toooo…. “Mother’s day, is a man made holiday, that doesn’t even apply to me…it applies to “mothers’!!” thank you…and, one’s own kids are who it’s to be expressed from, not ever Tom, Dick, or  Harry and Mary. anyway…..water over the bridge..”flooded bridge lol Except for a project as the pic above, by one of the “twins” in his 2nd grade class or so 2006, last time I ever saw him via more detail to story already told Sandy Walters….”illegally” she participated his grandma. I used it in the paper work for Everett, WA court for the parenting plan I was attempting to modify 2006 via phone with Snohomish Judge, I shared pages about already…It broke my heart, but they had to have original documents, so I wanted to submit my child’s “mother’s day” book he had made and the “good” he got from me…that is showed…so, it’s in Everett, WA court house paperwork from that 2006 phone court with me from San Diego, CA.
OMG! Image result for image of fight and flight
For the very first time in my life, with the exception of cocktail waitress, prior to being rear ended, by a drunk driver on Super Bowl Sunday 1988 Jan. 28th or something like that…I had mo~jo as never before and was making  proper choices…
February 2002, to be away from Jonathan once he returned home from work, I went with the idea to obtain a cocktail waitress job in Stanwood, Camano Island area as big picture at least. I was willing to do any job. I was blessed with a part time position at Stanwood Cinemas. Image result for verse fear no evil and rise bible gateway
 The kids there treated me odd, but Lilly Summerfield the manager and I got along as friends. I was available any hours that fit in the hours Jonathan would be home…..Colleen came to our apartment to watch the kids, until Jonathan got home like from 4ish pm to 6 ish pm.  
Half of my pay, paid for Colleen to watch the kids…on an average I came out basically bringing home $60.00 or so a week after paying her. It got me away from Jonathan. For the first time, the home was turning into one that runs like a two parent working situation, from the June Cleaver in flight or fight mode of character though……homemaker, mom home all the time atmosphere… Image result for image of fight and flight Image result for verse fear no evil and rise bible gateway
Mind you, meth wasn’t in the picture, again yet for me…we know, because me on meth is incapable of chasing my own tail, getting out of the house in the first place, never mind obtain and maintain a job of any kind. ( plus, on meth in my past I have never been able to obtain any job without having to make their things mine from paper clips, to all office supplies, pictures on the walls…on meth, eventually everything is mine…where ever I go…)
No, meth hadn’t been in this part of my story…..just my “pot”. I was a hard, loyal, honest worker. I began to be a community activist, by taking “our weekly” movie schedules to various business in Stanwood and Camano Island area…the deal was, if they allowed Stanwood Cinemas to put their flyer in the window of their store, Stanwood Cinemas would give 2 or so movie tickets for a gratitude gift of them agreeing to do so. Lilly Summerfield, my manager and friend put me on the clock for this and my gas was paid for too. Image result for verse fear no evil and rise bible gateway
I learned that though financially, me having a job as so little pay took from my kids and I with me being home…and, other down falls…it was and I was perfect for jobs that had “bonding and the first to see” bonuses for my son and the twins to partake in….Due to finances and such being as low it was with Jonathan and he sucked as a provider, I always found “bonding” activities for HIM and my son, Him and the twins, him and them, but, I never did it with me,,,,I was always assumed to be there…we had no special bonding times…. Image result for image of fight and flight
But, now I could take my oldest son to the movies once we closed and previewed the movies prior to them being shown to the public. Now, I was enabled to take the kids, ditch school, and preview spider man in Seattle prior to it being released to the public. Oh, so happy I am in what it was doing in enabling me and my kids to have bond time and allow them to view the movies before any of their peers… 
Lilly was giving me more like 32 hours to 40..I was becoming a closer, I was being exposed to all areas of the theater…I was just beginning to be exposed to the projectors and management position duties. I was on a good mo~jo for first and last time ever….(naturally)
out come and since, I don’t know “melt downs, traumatized, taken down to nothing and still there, really…brain in a constant “shock” blank, yet movie running and see it clearly…my voice, ability to express taken from me…”Image result for image of fight and flight Image result for image of fight and flight
Let’s see, I even had the faith, courage, mo~jo to go apply in renting a place for the kids and I in Stanwood. I was doing it secretly. I had to do it when my oldest son, was in school or he would tell my business to the enemies…. Look how stupid I was…I can see it clearly now…  I applied to rent a part of the house….located: going to Stanwood from Camano Island you come to a choice, go across the bridge towards Hagans or up a hill with a stop sign at top of hill and across the street forward on the left corner is the house Jr. and Maureen Gaumond lived in…Keep going straight after the stop sign, passing that house on your left side. Keep driving the road curves, you pass the Christian biker run down church on the left and the road begins to curve to the right…THERE!!! A white ran down, but sufficient house was for rent and I was gun ho on renting it for the kids and I, I had saved my funds….I was going to be able to do it..I was confident too….Image result for image of fight and flight
THAT MAN HAD ME GIVE HIM MY SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER…HE WAS JUST A PRIVATE OWNER AND SUCH…HE STATED HE HAD TO RUN MY CREDIT….I EVEN PAID A FEE….pastors!!!!! THAT WAS AN INSIDE ha, AND SUCH OR INSIDE PERSON…A WAY FOR THEM TO OBTAIN MY SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER!!!! HE HAD TO OF KNOWN EVEN MY UNCLE jR!! AND AT THAT TIME I WAS PROBABLY PUTTING HIM ON THE APPLICATION!! HOW FRUSTRATING TO BE SO GULLIBLE!!!! (It’s just one of Satan’s cunning ways to fool, even the wisest in God and HIS word. For others besides myself, and 3 sons were “played” as well, and are “what I believe is” also an “innocent” especially, when the “innocent” know the truth and proof and are not happy about it, facing Jesus and asking HIM for HIS instructions at this point and in “lifting me up” as well. Hallelujah for them faithful to our Lord and Savior!!) ANY WAY, I was approved!!!! I will get to what happened in moving there with the kids tomorrow probably. Image result for image of fight and flight Image result for image of fight and flight
Let’s see, for bonding time during this time of era: I and my son, went to the Stanwood library for free computer classes and we went up to a senior place of living in Stanwood up the hill for computer classes free…a retired law enforcement teacher of some kind Mr. Mac??? Or something was our teacher. He was from Camano Island?? I had also went to the same place to do ceramics….I was getting into making crafts and going to craft shows with the twins…and Colleen and I shared booths…..
Image result for image of fight and flightThis is all pretty much in the time of Feb. 2002 to June 2002……….. In May, remember the dope, the meth came in to the picture again….Well, I had shown, cried, opened up completely to Lilly Summerfield at work…embarrassing…she was my inspiration to get myself  out of the situation and not keep returning to her with the same blah, blah, tears, fears, and bruises. Well, that didn’t happen…..I ended up embarrassing self….forced to quit, (not by her….by what the organized criminals and law were doing to me……I stayed in touch with her periodically since..Image result for image of fight and flight
Lilly Summerfield did write a letter to the courts for the divorce, on my behalf in my favor and her letter is honest…she states being a witness to what I just shared. It’s embarrassing cuz to this day, I really have nothing but chaoticness and finally landing to share with her and am not in a situation to discuss employment, never mind not living up there….I am just so embarrassed of still being here in same spot really of when she last employed me…I still consider her a blessing and a friend, but I have no contact info for her…I would probably begin with Stanwood Cinemas, if I really had a purpose to.
I will end with the following and then, I will continue with the story another day……So, I am at work one evening, right??? End of May or Beginning of June 2002……in walk the Stanwood police…..for me!!!!!! Come to find out I had been on the run since, 1993 or so, from San Diego…a fugitive, two time felon, and more………and, I had a DUI!!!! What!!!! Never, not, no!!!!! For what??? No, I never have had a DUI!!!!! Fugitive!! FELON!!!! Purgery??!!  WHAT???!!!!! MIND YOU, INCARCERATED AND/OR HOSPITALIZED FOR 30 DAYS OR MORE,ONE WILL LOOSE ssi BENEFITS, BUT I WASN’T ON ANY AT THIS TIME……HE HAS ME OUT IN THE PARKING LOT OF STANWOOD CINEMAS..AT THIS POINT, I AM STILL LEFT CLUELESS AS TO WHAT I HAD DONE!! ALL MY GHOSTS WERE OUT AND I WAS HAVING A FAMILY SINCE 1994!!!  HE DISTURBED MY SHIFT….ME, I HAD TO GO HOME AND FIGURE OUT WHAT THE??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!                                                !Image result for image of fight and flight    ISAIAH 59:19 So they will fear the name of the Lordfrom the west And His glory from the rising of the sun. For He will come in like a narrow, rushing stream Which the breath of the Lorddrives [overwhelming the enemy].  Image result for verse fear no evil and rise bible gateway            
“Jesus, HELP!!“ Image result for image of fight and flight 
psalm 23:4 New International Version (NIV) Image result for verse fear no evil and rise bible gateway

Even though I walk
    through the darkest valley,[a]
I will fear no evil,
    for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.


  1. Psalm 23:4 Or the valley of the shadow of death

Image result for verse fear no evil and rise bible gateway The Stanwood officer LET ME GO, AT THAT TIME…HE WAS SORRY…IT WASN’T MY “DUI” (ticket, warrant or whatever he was claiming; not ever of the such for me or with me. )IT WAS ANOTHER GIRL WITH THE SAME LIKE NUMBERS, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH….SOMETHING ABOUT 1992 SAN DIEGO, ME HAVING A $20 GRAND OR SOMETHING CD AT WELLSFARGO, AND DIDN’T CLAIM IT ON MY WELFARE APPLICATION FOR my son IN CHULA VISTA, CA!!!! THE MEASLY, NOTHING $20, 000 GRAND I FINALLY GOT FROM THE HIT BY A DRUNK DRIVER ON SUPER BOWL SUNDAY 1988?????? SO, FREAKING WHAT??????? HUH????IT WAS SUPPOSE TO BE TAX AND UNREPORTABLE!! OH HECK, I DON’T KNOW, BUT SERIOUSLY???!!!Image result for verse fear no evil and rise bible gateway Image result for verse fear no evil and rise bible gateway

Image result for verse fear no evil and rise bible gateway LILLY SUMMERFIELD WAS KEEPING MY JOB OPEN….Image result for verse fear no evil and rise bible gatewayImage result for verse fear no evil and rise bible gatewayImage result for verse fear no evil and rise bible gateway
Some time, Feb. 2002 ~ Oct. 2002, I had and attended the twins in swimming lessons up at the work out center near Burger King in Stanwood. I had them in soccer, twin 1 basic only physical sport that floated his boat and that was important to me, in developing his skill in an interest, twin 2 and single birth son seemed to have been more sports orientated in various sports and soccer was basically twin 1 only interest and talent best, actually. He did well. 
The time between June 2002 to October 25, 2002 went so fast, with so many curve balls by Jonathan and the law…me taking Meth at this point for any reason logical didn’t help in the long run…just made the situation more intense and amplified and the mind games, the bogus arrest and charges, the kids, my job, the marriage………and, no it had nothing to do with me doing meth….Image result for verse fear no evil and rise bible gateway Image result for matthew 17:20Image result for matthew 17:20 Image result for matthew 17:20
Regardless to being on the psych medications or meth, neither stopped what others were doing in a very well organized criminal activity way that hit so many areas from WW child pornography to IRS to drug trafficking to terrorist’s acts, and more!!! And, we, my three son’s AND I, were victims to it all!!!! Well, I was…the boys were saved from it all, thank god!!!  Image result for matthew 17:20 Image result for matthew 17:20
Image result for matthew 17:20WHEN ATTEMPTING TO HAVE THE TWINS ON SOCCER 2002 Aug.’ish or so (approx.)??Sept.??…I HAD TO RUN AROUND TO AND BE COME A VOLUNTEER WITH, WAS THE PLANS WITH I DON’T KNOW….PEOPLE, COMMUNITY PLACES THAT WILL PAY FOR THE KIDS UNIFORMS AND NEEDS SO THE CAN PLAY SPORTS..IT’S FOR THE NEEDY AND POOR…THAT’S HOW I WAS ABLE TO GET THEIR KLEETS, SHORTS, SOCCER SOCKS, SOCCER BALLS, ETC….. IT WAS FRUSTRATING AND SAD, “yes, I know and so does Our Lord whom hung on the cross for my sins already and attacks of Satan “our” enemy. If, I am covered by the blood of Jesus, why doesn’t Satan flee from the stink of Jesus’ blood on me?” Image result for matthew 17:20 Image result for matthew 17:20  Image result for matthew 17:20 Image result for matthew 17:20
Greetings, this day, 
1 John 1:9 New International Version (NIV)
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sin’s and purify us from all unrighteousness.
Romans 8:1 New International Version (NIV)
Life Through the Spirit
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,
Anger is what this brings out. Anger that I have to accept, it is all things I cannot change; but, can’t I? Image result for 1 john 1:9
Because, courage to know that by telling this story all the way to the end and taking action in it, is beneficial in changing what happened; Image result for 1 john 1:9 as far as the truth coming out, the kids and I are freed from blames and what nots we carried that does not belong to us…weight Satan wants to have upon us, and best of all …. all who knowingly and willing participated are not getting away with any of it….some are dead, some are incarcerated, some are 86, some are in mental institutions, some are homeless dope addicts, some are losing their kids, licenses, jobs, careers, families, etc. and  justice is being done, need I say more? It’s being done off the record for the most part: just like god can just make one disappear, cause calamity from know where upon the enemy, and says, “Who?” if I mention their name: you know. Image result for romans 8:1
Sharing this part of the story is beneficial for my three son’s for them to be properly helped where and if needed, as well as, enabled up to high places of their interests, talents, and dreams….sharing this part of the story fills in all the blank, distorted, deranged, lies, or what not that they were told, didn’t make since to them, their eyes are being opened to the truth of my love for them and no, I didn’t abandon them or choose drugs before them, and other things , like, no, I am not a freak, socio path, dangerous, purposely live off the system, eww what ever !!!!!….. Image result for 1 john 1:9 I guess, they are, they and I are, those in high places monitoring this, you guys are getting to the “truths” of things and as the truth comes out; those who are guilty in the doings of all this mess and beyond as acts of victimizing my three sons and I, “Justice” is coming upon “them”. Image result for 1 john 1:9
Image result for 1 john 1:9 Well, that is all great and dandy, but it’s not feeding me well, taking me shopping never mind to the mall at all, having my kids and I in each other’s lives, giving me a puppy, taking me to my race horses, providing supplements~minerals~liquid gold or silver, handing me a new identity,washing my car, providing proper shoes, taking me to the movies, dinner and shows, shopping and enjoying farmers market, providing quality “herb” medicine at all never mind regularly…that is just a joke, impotent, crap weed! 
Image result for 1 john 1:9 It is insulting, as all one can think!!! I find it cruel to know how “herb” is so beneficial to both my mental and physical well being, is known and approved by those in high places, whom have gone to the point of legalizing it for me, putting stores up for me, opening marijuana up as an industry for me…..and, yet they find it funny and the need to mess with me in dangling it before me, selling me “zero” potent to “eh still nothing but rage, causing no potency trashy pre-rolls in the stores!!! 
Image result for 1 john 1:9 They sell me trash, dangle what they have for me in front of my face, charge money for the trash on the shelves, and allow me to hurt both mentally and physically. It is just cruel for people who are supposed to support, agree, and love you to do that…one might think there would be some respect that “I am just trying to provide best for self on own to be my best with my many mental and physical health issues!! Excuse me for needing a medicine that works best for me and is safest.”
For people like me….that isn’t funny…it doesn’t help us and they are just ripping us off…..I take it for more reasons than “getting stoned”!!!! Image result for 1 john 1:9
 (This is written, near Easter 2016, though currently Thanksgiving 2016(and, whatever that means, since 2002 thrown into grocery cart and kids stolen “what is the “True” motive and meaning for any Holiday; esp. those made up by “man”? NOTHING! )THANKSGIVING 2016, In same, ON GOING, SINCE AGE 3 WHEN “WE” GET DOWN TO NITTY GRITTY, neglected and like situations, with supposed “real” promises to be materializing “just any moment” now; (as I been being lead on that “false” illusion most of my life and I have to tell you, “NOTHING,” happens except same “bulls*t, another “man” neglected and oppressed day.)
Image result for 1 john 1:9 These “blah~blah promises, by both “man” of HIM and HIM.) written prior to Jesus intervening himself 3 months ago Nov. 20th and personally “blowing up” any and all “illegal” conspiracies set up against me via blood roots of “cockfighting,” Dago Mob HA, Aryan Brothers, Hawaiian Mafia, and any of the such were the “cause” of all my “WTH’s??!!!!”, prior to ever arriving from 2014 beginning to end (2016 according to God) being the King County Loop, set up “ignorantly, not ethically moral or right, and illegally” to both man and God’s laws and rules,” leaving me “clueless” and thinking it to be “funny”. 
Image result for romans 8:1 Today, this very day of 2016, while still left neglected, etc. it is now done by those such as my “future” husband, new parents, the illegal King County Loop still in action to stay simple, and participants supposedly for God though, at this point and in agreement to putting an end to all of it, as well as it being time to lift me up, where I will live for the first time in my earth life.) THIS IS “YET” TO WITNESS AND BE ABLE TO “TESTIFY” TOO, AND BARELY BELIEVE OR EVEN CARE; STILL RATHER BE DEAD IN BODY, STILL ALIVE IN SPIRIT, OFF PLANET EARTH, WHILE STILL LEFT NEGLECTED, POORLY CARED FOR, as if anyone, place or thing is worth it!! Sorry, Satan but I have wisdom, knowledge, and understanding that “ONLY THE KINGDOM OF GOD/HEAVEN, MY SALVATION, BEING CRUCIFIED WITH AND FOR CHRIST is “worth” it!! …. Image result for 1 john 1:9 Image result for 1 john 1:9
What else is there to do at this point of the journey, but “stand firm” on these ancient, pro~longed promises, and “claim” them as if already “mine”!! (That’s what my only option is, if I am truly the God fearing woman I claim to be.) “Nothing” and so, I wait upon the Lord, as I should, in pleasing the Lord and receiving HIS majestic gifts. Amen)
 Image result for romans 8:31 If, my people in high places know, approve of all this for me…..why do they get in my way, when god tells me to provide for myself in the meantime, to the best of my own ability????? Basically, I go without my medication half of the month and little to fake the first 7 to 10 days or so, of what they purposely sell to me, anyway……it is “just rude”…….that, my god says is, “meddling with one’s ability to provide well for one’s self; especially, one like me in poverty doing my best with my situations in “integrity” building!!! Hate it and it gets old. Image result for romans 8:31 Image result for romans 8:31
Thank you for listening…as I hear mocking in the library, people saying things like, “just have to vent” and other mocking comments that are rude….any way, thank you…I don’t want to continue with the story today..
I just wanted to share the emotion of Anger and what not that it is bringing out and I am coping with. Image result for romans 8:31 
Have an enchanting day 
Good day Pastors, Image result for romans 8:1 Image result for romans 8:1 
Romans 8:36 As it is written:

“For your sake we face death all day long;
    we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”[j]

37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[k] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Image result for romans 8:31 Image result for romans 8:31
From this point on, I am going to summarize the rest of story and if, there are any questions or things God wants to come out it will when it does. One reason is due to the time at the computer to write, like now much pain in hips and is interfering with my physical health, which is a reason why I am unable to go to school or work reliably with much that has to do with being on a computer; esp. without proper medical grade THC, that GOD himself told me was and is, the medicine for me in 2008 and safest for me. I take it for fibromyalgia, arthritis, tendinitis, blown hip, injuries sports people and old people generally have and it’s from being abused. Lets see, it helps my IBS, GERD, GAD, ACID RE-FLUX< increases apatite, MS, migraines, facial nerve damage pain, ADHD, Autism, to see!!!!!, nausea, bi-polar, learning disabilities just to mention a few….at times, when real good, connects me spiritually and I receive messages that have already saved my own son Joseph and got people in trouble by remembering their names…things, I didn’t know on my own come out….believe me or not. I know, it’s real.
OK, to summarize: Feb. 2002 ~ Oct. 2002 Image result for romans 8:31
Basically, for sure from the point of the bogus set up, charges, arrest, time in Everett Jail….After being bailed out, paying Jr. and Maureen for lending the bail….making sure I had the title to my truck back, that was used in my bail, as well…oddly, my biological Sandy Walters-Gaumond was more than happy and supportive to loan me the funds for a grey hound ticket to San Diego, to go see what these charges were all about….mind you, I didn’t know buses….
once upon a time, today I remember going with Joseph’s biological father Joe Ivester 1989 to lawyers, law enforcers, judges, other government workers and from ten grand up with meth in quantities would be given to them…and, they obviously knew, from the security with Joe that NO wouldn’t be taken for an answer.. Image result for romans 8:1
many of them, would get hooked on the meth and finally, not want the monies of thousand, cause they were too hooked on the meth and now, they were in debt to Joe and the meth is what they wanted…I saw a few of their families divorce and fall financially from it…..HA< CARTEL…etc….in debt to Joe at that time…
Then, 1994 I remember, Jonathan paying Nancy for that document to show to San Marcos, CA courts, I mentioned??? this is the main reason, after health and not being given love via my herb medicine provide…EVEN WHEN I PROVIDE IT FOR MYSELF, they steal from me, knowing they are selling me fake to hardly quality if at all!!AS, GOD SAYS TOO; and all I am doing is listening to god and trying to faithfully provide wellbeing for self. In other ways too…i can’t on this budget!!!! By man, just because they can and they have all I need in my future…after, I jump through hoops and bark and meow for something I didn’t sign up for……or was asked properly if I would be interested too. Just sort of cornered into it…) 
Sorry, I am just saying that the following is the other main reason, besides not having proper medication that enables me to be on the computer.
Image result for romans 8:31 The facts of the above…..From the point of Stanwood Police going to my place of work to arrest me for anything is all DIRTY; June 2002!!!!…… all happenings…somebody was doing what JOE and Jonathan did…..Donald Ivester, my oldest son’s uncle is a big part of it….anything from this point on to now, is not on me, just story of what was….PEOPLE WERE GETTING PAID, BLACK MAILED THEMSELVES, AND HOOKED ON THE DRUGS…TO DO WHAT EVER IT TOOK TO SEPARATE ME AND THE KIDS AND DO WHAT THEY DID!!!
Image result for romans 8:31 let’s see, Sheri Hill is who took me to the lawyers place in down town San Diego AND TOOK ME TO THE AIR PORT TO COME BACK…I am who did my case, NOT THE LAWYER….I sat up all night pleading: in not comprehending the welfare papers in 1992 or ’93 or whatever it was from the 10 grand or so, I had in a CD from the drunk driver hitting me 1988 Super bowl Sunday….due to mental conditions….learning disabilities and comprehension is probably why..i had every doctor from 7th grade, hospitalizations, medications, etc….that had to do with my mental health and to 1991, when I became disabled due to bi-polar and what not back then…my first nervous brake down. 
Image result for romans 8:31 Sheri Hill, Kevin hill, parents Olivia and Ron Hill a big part of it all since 1989….Kevin was with JOe as muscle back then AND THEY ARE CONSIDERED my oldest son’s, TWINS AND I RELATIVES……their parents RON AND OLIVIA wouldn’t ever help me, but Sheri and Kevin could live life making choices as I and they were helping them and the other people. National City, Ca…
ONCE, at the end I called Chapel and I “think” pastor told me, Chapel would help me, too if I came back…I thought that was a terrible ultimatum and example of a Christian……I had called screening and roaring about how “rude” of you to have interfere with my marriage to the extent of handing the Church lawyer and/or member to Jonathan….now, that was picking sides and meddling with something many of you were only blinded by the devil and seriously, unaware of… warnings meant nothing….i guess, cause of my anxiety, i don’t care what comes out of my mouth words, tone like Satan, and whatever else and behavior wasn’t enough to show IT WASN’T ME …AND JONATHAN WAS playing you good…anyway, none of us need to be mad today…not the purpose of this… Image result for romans 8:31
moving on: once they managed to intimidate the boys from me…your wonderful Kurt smalley stole the white car out of colleen’s drive way…leaving me with absolutely no transportation or abilities to make it to court in Everett for the divorce or any battered woman meetings………he enjoyed it…Just just stole it and helped Jonathan…they left me without transportation and the alternator to my Toyota grey truck, not Jonathan’s ever!!! Was in Kurt smalleys vehicle……and, I am left out…in the same health conditions i am in today!!!! Boys are being told, I not making court and stuff!!!! Image result for romans 8:1 Image result for romans 8:1 Image result for romans 8:1 
The guardian litum stated, “you don’t want to upset Jonathan.” when, I did go to put the parts back in the Toyota, with my alternator in Kurt’s vehicle…and, no battery…but, I just needed battery cuz it was a stick and i could still start it…Jonathan had my truck taken apart at his job in Stanwood with some truck place in town and one night, god said,,,that truck isn’t really broke down…they are purposely keeping you without transportation……go to Jonathan’s work…the parts are there taken off…you will find them and you will put them back into the engine and guess what??? it was true and I did!!! 
…I stripped that truck after the guardian litun stating that and left it in Kurt’s yard with the key in the ashtray, prior to leaving Oct. 25, 2002 and in the divorce papers it quotes kurt stating blah, blah, blah and she didn’t even leave the key.
“.it was my truck…i bought it with my funds from being rear ended by drunk driver 1988 and it started with a 1992 Nissan, I paid cash for and traded it thru th e years..idiot me put Jonathan on my title!!!!! Jonathan entered “our relationship” 1993, living off of  my son’s welfare and my ssi and welfare…he had not one thing!!!!!!
Thank you,
Actually, Image result for romans 8:1 Image result for romans 8:1
I am just going to finish up now…that lawyer for the charges I was undergoing 2002…. the lawyer calls me up on a Sunday, from San Diego, when Jonathan and I were still together….then, when I was standing in Donald ivester’s kitchen in national city, ca 16th st. Nov. 2002……he called me again on a weekend and told me, I won the case and charges were all dropped.
What little I took, to be connected with the kids and what not was stolen from me and by Dec. 2002 Donald Ivester was making me stay outside at night, cuz he did when he wanted and I wouldn’t listen to him…..that is how I was first in a grocery cart…then, in 2003 i had asked for a 30 day notice of eviction, by people in on what was being done to me and were meth dealers in spring valley, ca and the mom held me down, as her three daughters broke plates over my ear, head, cheek and that is how I ended up in a grocery cart, basically from 2002 to 2004…they would also, get me in as in renting a room, get my funds and kick me out….as it would be told, I was using all my funds for drugs…
Nope, they stole my funds almost monthly leading me to believe, I was going to be able to rent a stable room….they would steal my income and the rest of the month I would be broke on the street..
Image result for romans 8:1 dealing with it at people’s houses, who would “just give me” dope or a so called “poser” who was supposed to be my boyfriend provided it…as I was on the streets…my own mother was a big person in on it all and evil as in a mommy dearest…she is evil! when I asked her for help she would state, I didn’t want help that is where I wanted to be.”, but she would store my trash of material things in storage so they would be safe….’
I was reduced to levels of being so sic with fever and health issues I have today. That I was made to sleep in abandoned cars, locked out of bathrooms, left to defecate in junk yards and back yards, living with the animals and watching the dogs eat my “poop”……
Image result for romans 8:1 2008, I have been single and with god only for the very first time in my life….I found happiness 2011 Texas…  Image result for romans 8:1
2012, I had the courage, instructed by God’s voice to address after all these years about their participation in all this done to me and my three son’s…OUT OF EVERYONE, I EVER CONFRONTED, I AM PROUD TO SAY, ” CHAPEL STEPPED UP”
I HAVE TO SAY,”I WISH YOU WOULD JUST KILL ME AND LET ME BE AT PEACE…BECAUSE, I AM NOT HAVING FUN IN A SITUATION I NEVER DESERVED, ASKED FOR, earned OR WANTED……IT’S CRIMINAL TO CONTINUE LEAVING ME TO LIVE AS IS….HAVING NO REAL OPTIONS TO HAVING Any TYPE OF LIFE……NONE OF WHAT IS SUPPOSEDLY FOR ME, AS THE DAYS CONTINUE AND ITS NOT BEING DELIVERED is worth a moment of air i breath like this…it’s been a long, undeserved or wanted ugly life, journey and story to tell and bury..….I DON’T WANT IT AND THAT INCLUDES MY 3 SON’S at time goes on and I remain in purposefully made situations I am in by man in high places, whom supposedly plan on blessing me….
Image result for romans 8:1 ……I AM A HU’MAN TOO, WITH FEELINGS AND I TOO DESERVE TO BE TREATED HU’MANLY AND NOT LIKE A FREAK, PROJECT, ANIMAL, OR OF THE SUCH! AND, at this point I can careless of any God….what god??? Oh, you mean them people with lots a money???? “
The end   “none of it was worth it, as the days go by and i remain as am…….neglected, oppressed, monitored, etc…..and, I choose a bullet in my head over this, cuz I am already dead like this, with no life to enjoy beyond this and my story..” Image result for romans 8:31
Appreciate you much…happy Easter, Good Friday, st Patrick’s Day…etc.
Image result for psalm 18:3 To make long “testimony” short, I was left “clueless” as of 2000~to this present day of 2016. The world’s largest organized crime was my own blood, my own birth was against me, and they victimized me and my 3 babies. They did unmentionables to them and me to this day, I am neglected and oppressed, my children now men are strangers who hate me, as the kids are on monitor “illegally” in this “illegal” king county loop, god did not authorized, not is it his will and I am expecting any second, for this 50 year on going situation of mine, to take a 360*, became “god’s will” for me, not “Satan’s will” for me, and never have to share my private life, while yelling “help” Jesus to the WWW again!!! I only survived to tell, by the grace of god and his perfect plans for me. Guess what? I don’t even know any of these people, not even the names I know…I just know they knew the father of my oldest son and to them the enemy I ran~~~~’clueless’ I persevered forward drawing closer to my human spirit relation with GOD, himself. Image result for psalm 18:3 Image result for psalm 18:3
  • From 2002~2004 ish dago mob ha had me put in a grocery cart for not listening to Donald ivester; Nov. 2002 and for asking for a “legal” rent notice to leave, by a family in spring valley 2003; she held me down, while her 3 large daughters beat me, broke plates over my head and face, and what not. They were ‘meth’ dealers etc. Knew Ernie Anderson, Steve holey, etc. They owed dago mob a favor and destroying me was the favor
  • Sex offenders were taken out of prison to do dago mob a favor and sexually assault me.
  • 2004 ‘drug court’ was also set up for me; clueless to what the HELL was going on, just from me wanting the divorce from Jonathan barber~~~~~~~~~~I took that as my 2nd chance!! Regardless to the entire facts of the story and how they set ‘drug court’ up to devour me, too…little did they know, “I had god on my side!!! I wanted the structure and help!!!” and, I got the most out of drug court, graduated 2006…by this time dago mob ha had tom trier in with me, set up so well, that even the government building I went to watch tom trier register as a “drug offender” was in on it!!! There is no such thing!! He is a sex offender!! And I never learned that until this “illegal” king county loop!! They had my minister who baptized me in the fire of the Holy Spirit give me a fake wedding to tom Trier!!! Valentine’s Day 2007!!!
  • God had me write my testimony 2007, that was used against me 2015 by illegal king county loop!!
  • April 2008 I accomplished getting rid of tom trier, having zero to do with biological family, be frim in my morals, values, get where I want to be without bringing harm to self or others, settle for no more ‘blah blah” guys; only an “action” one….eat well, get education, do my best to provide well for self without playing, manipulating, etc.. Others….I had to marry “god “and2009 I t believe, that I am able to see and speak to him 24/7 as if, he were a human in the flesh “husband”. Best years of my life, but I am ready and was before to be united with a companion yoked in “him”, etc..
  • 2009 I took the dago/norml bait to big island. I sincerely, attempting to get self out of the system, not deeper not stay, be independent experienced a lot of unmentionables already set up to have done to me, before arriving via Hawaiian mafia. I managed to get education on the computer, through federal fair housing, be a volunteer in the community, be on the neighborhood watch, and much more, but unmentionables still were only for me!! “wth????”
  • 2010, by the emergency cry of one of my babies, I quickly got to Everett, wa as I was put in a shelter, like a dog, left as still am, poverty, neglected, and I confidently signed up for “criminal justice” at itt~tech!! Loved it!!! Was planning on getting into an $80,000 BA loan investment for my career and future through them…bam!!! I was baited by organized crime to Texas!!
  • Focusing on being who I was meant to be and building my integrity 2011 I rode the bus 3~4 hours to itt~tech in Richardson, TX and 3~4 hours back. My health got in my way as my medical marijuana was no longer in my system or legal to “legitimately” obtain. It was foreseeable that I wasn’t going to be able to continue college without transportation, my medical marijuana, my health cared for, etc.….
  • I continued to attempt medical care, but got none; I got lies, like that a mri showed that I never had mini stokes 2006…
  • 2011~2014 I attempted to be of great help to Sheridan, wy, but didn’t know that they were set up by Donald walters via cockfighting, roger Christie via n.o.r.m.l., and Donald ivester via dago mob ha to devour me……unmentionables were done to me there and 2014 they set an ‘illegal’ king county loop up to devour me, have my babies used against me, on devises, took them from me again. Neglect, oppressed, and much ugly to they wise in their own eyes, enjoyed believing they were interrogating and dissecting a “duck” when I am a “child of god’s”!!!!!!!
  • For all the “traps” Satan had plotted before me that I was gullible to, whom took advantage of my innocent mind and the ‘lil mental/emo disabilities I endure that are just Satan’s spirits lurking around me, “Jesus, god himself, the holy one” and only the trinity is whom was there for me as my witness, protector, and now my defender and avenger!!!!! Only ‘he’ was there to get me out of the grocery cart and deliver me sane, sincere, and whole to my babies 2014!!!!!! And, why I have a ‘brain’ at all today~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~the end “hallelujah, I beg for and believe in Jesus truly lifting me up and out of this sh*t hole any second, my journey was not done in ‘vein”!!! It was done for his glory!! Arise king of kings and lift me up from Satan’s neglect and oppression, enabling me to live out your true will for me…thank you for showing me I am nothing of what they said I was, that I am a god loving woman, and that I was a “victim” of circumstances; victorious over it all due to you, o gracious lord., amen Image result for psalm 18:3
Amazing “all” the strangers to me through this life who were and are more than happy to sign up on a retaliation hit via own father, brother in laws, etc.. That I have only been trying to get away from my entire life!!! A real man is one who loves and leads in the way of our lord, not one with a gun, puffed up ego, and a deranged tude…”a bully is a wimp”
2014~present day: ‘illegal ‘king county loop neglects and oppresses me; they shoved my life in my face prior to 1992 in 2014!!! Ignorant!!! And, the stealing of my babies 2000, and whatever Sheridan, WY was trying to say and prove about me, that didn’t make since either, cuz I didn’t do anything there, but do my best to just stay to self……literally~~~all I experienced there was ugly coming at me, when I did go adventure out and try to be of help to the community and/or just breath…only have ‘brains’ left due to Jesus!! Mind blowing! Illegal king county loop has traumatized me most.
the end…thank you viewers. I pray fruits of God were given to you all through this testimony.  “praise is offered for who God is. Psalm 18:3 says “I call to the LORD, who is worthy of praise…” Image result for psalm 18:3
Image result for 1 john 1:9 On this November 08, 2016, Tuesday I place this Cyber warming: this “Testimony” is only for viewer to view, not disfrigerate (take apart/change), copy paste, edit, mend, take ideas from for books, movies or other entertainment. This testimony and all my blogs are of my owner ship only. All other parties may not pass on or use against me; it’s my testimony with the protection of Jesus as the author and my redeemer; deliverer of HIS promises, “enjoy viewing my story of God’s Grace and “hand” on my “nightmare” life and Victor of “HIS earthly good life” HE is rewarding me with. That YOU will all know is happening, because “this” part of my “testimony” of a “no life” with God will be over. Then, sing “hallelujah” for me please, praising Jesus, Our Lord for His faithfulness and putting an end to any neglected, oppressed life of Satan’s will for me and enabling me to Fly in the life that is “God’s will” for me.. Thank you. Amen Image result for romans 8:31 
Romans 8:31 New International Version (NIV)
More Than Conquerors
31 What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us,who can be against us?
the end result is:
the 3 stolen kids, are now men who have also been illegally on monitor for a lot of illegal reasons, but to also witness what happened to their mom… needless to say, God frees me. For I did the Miracle needed in sincerely returning to reunite with them 2014 and to this day, they want to help see me fall!!
I beg Yah to take these 3 strangers away that he had me be the vessel to and nothing more than to be who brought them into this world… For I was with them 16 hours a day 6 days a week, doing good stuff… from conception of them to 2000 when they 1st tried stealing them and tossing me out like trash…. prior to them being stolen at age 4 and 10..Once I got back into the house 2000 they never have been the same and I share a lilttle about that as you read on..Now, that they know the truth..that they and I were victimized and in same ways…that we all are survivors…they speak as IF I was not a victim as them and they gots to go…. I am too  sick and old for this Shi* and am soooo ready to live the good life I have never been able to enjoy…with my husband, God, and what God’s will is for me/US.
but, Joe Ivester, now dead 1994 from being blown in back of head by Dago MOB hell angels brother Donald Ivester aka: hawk eye. In which Clyede Eddleman, Rose Phelps Joes mom, Sherri Ivester his wife who got bullet in her foot and others watched. I only know what I know from Clyde Eddleman telling me when I called one day from Mew Hampshire, cuz i believed my oldest I gave birth to Joseph Donald Walters~Bareber biological fathers’ side was for us, so I called them..also, Where Clyde Eddleman was living at that time 1994 blew up..probably from them cooking dope or just cuz it was a part of their plans..
…but they in fact are who was a big part of F**king them and me in the As*.. . it all went down in El cajon, CA in a Mobile Home housing Joes supposed step dad some how.. gave to him or something like that. I don’t know, I was already married to Jonathan Barber and living in New Hampshire believing I got away from my roots then for the most part..having “no clue” Jonathan was set up to devour me, by my roots.and by Joseph’s fathers keep it simple. 
…Joe had told me that when the kids are ages 4~7 or so, they actually take the kids from the mom….. today, I understand what he was saying.. I pray for them three, now men… but, no my new life does not know them, nor have I ever been a mom or married…
thank you, Yah for YOUR truth and freedom in obedience to you, no matter what the other humans response is… I gave birth to 3 Cains… they are now God’s problems not mine or my arranged husbands.. especially, since they have mentalities to rather see me dead and/or sick, than to celebrate and praise God for the miracle HE did for them and me..which trickled into helping WW!! Amazing Grace of GOD our Father, Creator, Yah HIMSELF!!
Maybe, we will adopt a baby USA girl but today God tells me, my arranged husband needs to 1st obey and come get me…. then, in an adult way, I get to be my arranged husbands “baby” G….. so, adopting a baby G may be my will, not Gods..WE will see lol.. 
To all whom have illegally been in my life treating me as the criminal and those for God who have stood up for what is right and in ending all this:
u kno wat u hav witnessed in how i was with them 3 stolen people i gave birth to and how they are with me?
i’ve always been a good mom like u witnessed. However, wen they tried stealing them 1st time 2000 and they had me out of house 3mo. Since then, how u seen them b to me is how they been since.
Jonathan, sandy, others did, said something to them 3 during that time. They all,  which includes the kids, treated me as if i was replacable, a real lost mental case, and a burden. Thats why i was able to just give them to jonathan from all the intimadation, let go and leave to san diego ’02.
how u have seen only me try and how u have only seen them bite and kick me is nothing new.
Thats why i love jesus and self way more than them. He knows i was always there for them, exactly how gods always there for us, but they give me fuck you’s, push me, never wanted to talk and they are who denied me!
I have had closure since ’15 and i am grateful god saves me from their lying mouths and spirits not of god that live and rule in them. What a pleasure that god let the world be a witness to the truth and the freedom he gave me. I am relieved to see again its not me.
Satan has done a number on them and nothing i did or do would ever help change that.
Only Jesus can help them. I cant express more how relived i am that they no longer exist in my life. Ungrateful mini psycho mentalities Jesus has risen me above. They are now Jesus’ problem,not mine. I did what my part was to do and more.
Again, how u witnessed me with them and them with me, is how its been since 2000. Well how they are with me has been since my return in 2000..they all 3 were close to my prior and Jonathan hated it, cause I wouldn’t let him parent rudely..the yelling they heard was me yelling at Jonathan for not being a loving husband and not allowing his rude love to be put on the kids..
Jonathan, sandy,others did and/or said something to them wen they 1st tried stealing them and tossing me out like trash. God just told me to share this with all u illegally in my business and wise in ur own eyes. The observers set up by illegal retaliators. Fools!! U didnt even kno who or wat u were illegally observing! You all believed you were observing a duck wen i am a woman of god and was the main witness to all YOU criminals! Yes, when I am lifted up a few have to leave and Shantel here in king county is one of them…She was so determined to prove I was a whore, had multipal personalities, was fake, deserved to be beat, and more! Supposedly she is a canceler at Sound Mental Health or some thing in Seattle, Tumkula or some place, but she needs to be fired and not allowed to use references, and move out of Seattle..can’t come to San Diego..Get out of my territory God has giving me for all the illegal acts done to me!!  Fools! Halleluyah for our lords truth and his son Joshua Paul cunning who is my “only” honest witness and companion. I ask god that it be his will that we share a long healthy marriage. I trust we will, because I know IT is God’s will..and HE picked US!!
You readers may read more at my blog titled:
Satan “robbed” me of my “main” purpose and sense of belonging!!! it is on google, FB, and twitter…
3.11.17 Update
and since Last weeks blogs of my testimony of What Jesus, YAH, God our Father has saved me to tell….    yes, lord, oh most high after you having me be your salt and light, by testifying WWW about what i survived and who you had me expose this week especially, being my retaliators, for exposing them and not allowing myself to “just be another” one of their victims, nor am i anything like them, “the retaliators have now, put two new freshly dead rats in my walking path to grocery outlet, as their message to me: “to kill the rat,” that they call me and, i have never been a rat. I am a survivor of those who are evil and by the grace of you, i am victoriously a winner with a brain and still here to be your witness, “your salt & light.” i am to be blessed by you and am to be married to you soon, in human form. That I delight in and say, “You, Jesus were worth it all, please I beg you, find favor in me to appear and make this a reality for me… for it is YOU, Yah who wants to give this husband and earthy riches to me, for I would be happy for you to just call me home. I am exhausted as YOU, Jesus were at the well and when God let you hang on the cross. I love you and am happy to be like you and not of this world. Please continue to strengthen my immortality in you, Yah. I am not of this world, just as You.  Halleluyah for you are king of all kings :-* amen  
God, our enemies say, “Kill the rat,”as in Kill me …
a few google reviews of Casinos involved some how…there are a few in North WA, too, but this is enough…. one in North of Lynnwood, new of hwy 5 past Stanwood, WA exit or something… I don’t know they had a nasty Mark Albertson take me to them in 2014..and, in 2001 ish or so, I would go with nasty Maureen GAumond to one some place.. 
1. WinStar World Casino and Resort
777 Casino Ave, Thackerville, OK 73459


Carol Walters-Barber

true review and testimony. my book The ‘theft’ of my 3 babies.. follow this link: Source: ~~~~The ‘theft’ of my 3 babies~~~~

This entire town, as well, as previous others and others at current time, was set up by organized crime being my own father via cockfighting Donald Walters, Hell Angels Dago Mob Donald Ivester, and their other organized crime compadres WW, Mexico, and of San Diego… my own roots!! Big negative zero I rate this casino! And, local insisted residence.. 1995 the radio announced this town the number one for INSISTS! I know RAy milam not alive any more and one local cock fighter who owned a bar and turned it into his home.. God used me to bust this town down.. I bet they wish Donald Walters never came.. This casino should be a no brainer= MINE, MY 3 BABIES, AND MY NIECE, AND NEPHEWS… and, husband as well as all our generations to come! I am Queen of Thackerville, OK.. Carol Marie Walters.. Donald Walters birthright 1st born daughter… I am

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2. Sycuan Casino
5469 Dehesa Rd, El Cajon, CA 92019

true review and testimony. my book The ‘theft’ of my 3 babies.. follow this link: Source: ~~~~The ‘theft’ of my 3 babies~~~~

This entire town, as well, as previous others and others at current time, was set up by organized crime being my own father via cockfighting Donald Walters, Hell Angels Dago Mob Donald Ivester, and their other organized crime compadres WW, Mexico, and of San Diego… my own roots!! Big negative zero I rate this casino! Dago Mob has something to do with this casino…2002 NOVEMBER: This casino is where Steve Holly and his x girl friend took me, I had not done meth for two days, I was up, I was very sick, it was night, they just stole my credit cards. They ended up leaving me there. Mass security took me in their secret room and hassled me! I wasn’t doing anything but like sleeping around the casino entrenses and hoping Steve would be leaving soon and they left me! I was upset very fever sick! In the room they did the flash light to my eyes…I guess they did what eyes do when on meth. They hassled me, scared me.. told me it was illegal to be at casino on meth..they ended up letting me go and I had to freaking walk back to National City 16th st! So, sick that once there I passed out for two days and woke up with my little items I had of my kids and jewelry stolen and tole my lips were turning blue when sleeping! April ish 2003, this is the casino Steve Holly dropped all the money he had me cash the checks to of that dead lady with Bank of America and I never knew what was really going on, nor received a cent, but Steve’s fist in my face and him stealing my Uhaul I was using! This casino Sheri Hill sells and many others sell,but they do it at all the casinos..meth I am not a gambler.. if one of them took me.. they tried getting me to take money out of my account for them..I think it is stupid to drop money in a machine…doesnt float my boat, being on top, behind the windows, on the law side and /or owner ship floats my boat.. I actually am able to relax as I watch people gamble in casinos..
3. Golden Acorn Casino & Travel Center
1800 Golden Acorn Way, Boulevard, CA 91905

true review and testimony. my book The ‘theft’ of my 3 babies.. follow this link: Source: ~~~~The ‘theft’ of my 3 babies~~~~ This entire town, as well, … More

4. Barona Resort & Casino
1932 Wildcat Canyon Rd, Lakeside, CA 92040

true review and testimony. my book The ‘theft’ of my 3 babies.. follow this link: Source: ~~~~The ‘theft’ of my 3 babies~~~~ This entire town, as well, … More

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4 thoughts on “The ‘theft’ of my 3 babies (pt. 2)

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